"Please send help" would have been ours
Credit: Patrick T. Fallon/Bloomberg/Getty

Thanksgiving is this week! Which means that Black Friday, a “holiday” dedicated to seeing how quickly you can trample your fellow humans for a TV set is also this week, because it’s no longer Friday and instead occurs literally minutes after you finish your Thanksgiving dinner.

Twitter, though, seems to have its head on straight. The hashtag #BlackFridayIn3Words started trending Monday morning, and not everyone is as thrilled about the “holiday” as retailers hoping for a huge boost in sales are. (Or the possible sociopaths out there who actually enjoy Black Friday shopping.)

In fact, the responses seem uniformly negative. But they’re still funny! So we grabbed a bunch for you. Add your own on Twitter or just steal your favorite from this roundup to use as a quip whenever someone attempts to sell you on the idea of heading out into the cold and dark for a new electronic gadget.