Billy Crystal said in a Fox News interview yesterday that he will not host the Oscars next March. Widely considered the best choice for the difficult job of keeping a sometimes four-hour marathon running entertainingly, Crystal said, “If everything goes according to plan, I’ll be finishing a new movie on March 22. I can’t host the show five days later.” Whoopi Goldberg has reportedly already said she is not interested in taking the job, either. As for who could replace Crystal, Billy himself said, “It should be Jim Carrey. If he’s not available, Jay Leno or David Letterman would be a good idea.” Letterman, who once did take the job, was widely panned. But never one to leave things alone, he’s been joking about it ever since.