This week, Michelle Dobyne joined a long line of hilarious eyewitnesses who have graced local news

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Ah, local news. It’s gifted us with only the best of viral stars.

Just this week, Michelle Dobyne of Tulsa, Oklahoma, joined their storied ranks when she recounted a fire that terrorized her apartment complex:

News On 6 captured the quotable interview (“we ain’t goin’ be in no fire, not today”) at the Casa Linda Apartments.

Dobyne, her husband and their three kids escaped from the fire unharmed, but as of Monday they were sleeping in their car while their apartment remained boarded up. The Tulsa news station posted an address where you can send donations to the victims.

In the meantime, we’re taking a look back at more people who found their way in front of a camera to the benefit of us all. Journey back with us to the best moments from local news stars of yore:

Surfer dude gets so pitted

A Californian surfer explained to Fox News why he took to the waves during a flood, reaffirming every stereotype about surfers in the process.

Too-loving cousins

During another fire-related incident, an Ohio woman gave a reporter the scoop on who set her garage ablaze. The person? Her cousin. The reason? “He’s mad because he can’t get with me,” she said on live TV. And the reason she unnecessarily offered as to why she’d shunned her cousin’s affections? “I’m married.” Carry on.

"I like turtles"

It doesn’t matter what the question is, Jonathan of Portland, Oregon, only has one answer. He likes turtles, and he wants you to know.

"Ain’t nobody got time for that"

You know the meme, you love the meme, you have Oklahoma resident Sweet Brown (née Kimberly Wilkins) to thank for the meme.

The one time it was funny to make a baby cry

Some people just don’t like microphones in their faces.

Okay, so this crying kid was funny too

We are all Andrew Macias, then 4, of Los Angeles, who just couldn’t cope with the reality of spending eight hours a day away from his mom.

The Mobile leprechaun

Nearly the entire neighborhood of Crichton in Mobile, Alabama, gets credit for this absolute treasure. Everything from the sketch they submitted, to the crackhead theory, to the leprechaun-hunting vigilante and his magic flute made this special report a truly inspiring gem meant to be viewed time and time again.

"Apparently" we love this

Apparently, Ellen DeGeneres thought Pennsylvania kid Noah Ritter did so well on the news that she apparently had to invite him on her show. Hey, who doesn’t love learning a new word?

"I wanted doughnuts"

When this Toledo, Ohio, woman was told to venture out during a dangerous snowstorm only if it was “absolutely, positively necessary,” she correctly assumed pastry runs qualified as vital.

"Hide yo’ kids"

In what just might be the granddaddy of all local news witness videos, Antoine Dodson inspired the remixes that defined a generation or just defined a generation of Internet stars.