The 10 Best Celebrity Quotes of the Week

"Much of our relationship is just being spent trying not to have sex so that we wouldn't ruin our business relationship because he's super-duper hot. ... This year I wrote him [Diplo] a text, and I said, 'Hey, listen, you're like one of five people that I'm sexually attracted to, and now that I've decided to be single for the rest of my life and I just adopted a son, I don't have time for a relationship … If you're interested in some no-strings sex, then hit me up."

- Sia, breaking the Internet by revealing that she propositioned close friend Diplo for casual sex (and adopted a child!), in a GQ profile on the DJ

"His father's 91, my mother's 88. Yeah, why not? Next week, they're supposed to meet, and we probably won't see them for the rest of the night ... Her second man of 19 years just moved on two years ago, so she's single and vital."

- Matthew McConaughey, on playing matchmaker for his mom and his Gentleman costar Hugh Grant's dad, in an interview with Entertainment Tonight

"I've been with my girlfriend for 14½ years, I think, or 13½ years. ... She's very eager [to get married]. I'll do it because it's important to her but I don't have any great romantic feelings towards it."

- Charlie Hunnam, admitting that he feels "sort of indifferent" to marriage, on Andy Cohen's SiriusXM radio show

"Honestly, the real tragedy of this whole thing is that no one is talking about how terrible that dress was. That's why he went home. I would not wear that dress to any dinner."

- Karlie Kloss, on her viral reaction to Project Runway contestant Tyler Neasloney's joke about Kloss wearing his design to "dinner with the Kushners," on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen

"In every scene, you are my star, @MichelleObama! Happy birthday, baby!"

- Barack Obama, melting our hearts with this ultra-sweet photo booth strip in honor of wife Michelle's 56th birthday, on Instagram

"She called me and was like, 'My dream is to go to their concert in Vegas for my birthday.' I was like, 'Done.' I'm going to creepily DM Joe now that we're Facebook buddies or MySpace or whatever. What the kids do."

- Aubrey Plaza, on scoring tickets to a Jonas Brothers concert (plus backstage time with the band!) for her younger sister's birthday after Joe followed her on Instagram, to The Ellen DeGeneres Show

"I … did not get an email from Chris Martin. The man is a world treasure. Are you kidding me!?!? Emily what have you done!?!?"

- John Krasinski, jokingly blaming wife Emily Blunt after Chris Martin revealed on The Ellen DeGeneres Show that he emailed them hilariously pitching A Quiet Place musical but never heard back, on Instagram

"I would love to live somewhere other than the United States, in a small town in Italy, or on the other side of the world, in Bali. Find another life where it's a little bit more simple and organic and where I get to ride a bike, and buy bread, and put it in my basket, and then go home and put jelly on it, and just eat and paint."

- Jennifer Lopez, on her fantasies of what her life would be like if she weren't famous, in her cover interview for Vanity Fair's 26th Annual Hollywood Issue

"This one I came in pretty excited about doing all of my stunts and literally the first week, like, three days in I was like, 'Ehhhh, I think I'm going to let these stuntmen earn their money.' "

- Will Smith, on him and costar Martin Lawrence opting to use stuntmen in the latest installment of Bad Boys for Life, at the film's Los Angeles premiere

"It's really about progress, not perfection ... I've battled weight issues, but I realize that I don't have to beat myself up if I have XYZ food. Instead, I change my perspective and think, 'What is it that I'm angry about?' since we tend to want crunchy foods when we're angry or ice cream when we soothe ourselves. All these things I'm just trying to be cognizant of."

- Chrissy Metz, on being patient with herself when trying to be healthier, in her Good Housekeeping cover story