People.com Celebrity 21 Awkward Date Stories That Will Make You Want to Hide Forever By Maria Yagoda Published on May 25, 2016 01:00 PM Share Tweet Pin Email Leaving the house is already hard enough. But to leave the house and then deal with an awkward, weird date for which there is no easy out? Nightmare. We trolled Reddit for some of the most God-awful date stories (partly to make ourselves feel better about being super single.) Here are 21 of the absolute worst ones. “We talked about avocados for an hour because it was the only thing we had in common.” via GIPHY “I thought it was a date, and she thought it was dinner.” “I thought it was just hanging out, and she thought it was a date. In my defense She brought her brother. Then later [she] got mad at me for not making a move.” “We met up at a local burger joint, and he didn’t say a single word. I asked questions, and he responded with head nods and occasionally a chuckle that’s more like a release of air. I was pretty sure he hated me, so I told him I was just going to go home. That’s when he finally spoke. He asked me why and told me to please stay so I did, and then he continued to sit in silence. Looking back now I realize he was just nervous but, man at the time I really thought that I must have been horrible to be around. Update: We’ve been together for 2 years, and he actually talks to me now.” via GIPHY “I found out during that she was actually married. Not even legally separated.” “He thought it apt to bring up the subject of STDs; namely, which were the most prevalent in our neck of the woods and which ones had no symptoms.” “I told her I like to travel and consider it a hobby. She replies with, ‘That can’t be a hobby, and it doesn’t take skill to travel.’ She told me she works at a bakery. I said, ‘I love red velvet cupcakes; they’re the best.’ She proceeds to roll her eyes and say I’m just like everyone else who doesn’t know a thing about cupcakes and baking. I told her I love to play volleyball. She tells me her university wasted space building a sand volleyball court. Etc, etc.” via GIPHY “All he kept talking about was weed. How much he loves it, how much he does it, how amazing it is. It was just weed weed weed.” “Halfway through the date she mentioned her boyfriend, whom I was unaware of. I ask if he knows she’s on a date with me and she says, ‘Oh, it’s cool – he’s in Iraq right now, so he doesn’t know or care.'” via GIPHY “I went on a date with a girl from OkCupid. Things started off fine, the conversation was flowing well, and we both of us seemed fairly into it. Then, out of nowhere, she says, ‘OH MY GOD STOP LOOKING AT ME!'” “He complained about how tall I was literally within the first minute, and for the hour the date lasted felt it necessary to criticize basically every facet of my being, from the color of my skirt (‘Do you think black makes you look thinner or something?’) to my favorite TV shows (‘I can’t believe ANYONE likes that s—.’). I ended up ditching him in the middle.” via GIPHY “She asked me if I would try to fight someone off or catch a bullet for her on the first date. Without thinking, I said, ‘Hell no, you must be out your damn mind.’ She got offended and we both ate our burritos in silence.” “I reconnected with a girl I used to be friends with a few years before and went to her apartment for drinks and a movie. While there, she confessed to me that after I never made a move on her, she developed an eating disorder, went to/got kicked out of rehab and was basically an alcoholic.” “He took me to Arby’s.” via GIPHY “The girl showed up about 15 minutes late, but neither of us noticed, so we both stood outside this pizza place for an extra 10 minutes or so. When we got in, I offered to grab her a slice and something to drink, or whatever she wanted, but she said no and just sat down at a table. Once I got my food and sat down, she got up and bought her own drink. Then we basically sat in awkward semi-silence while I ate.” “After the date, he was driving me home, did a stupid, illegal move and got pulled over. He decided to run from the police (with me in the car). He tried to pull into a driveway and hide, but they found us. Aaaanyway, they put us both in handcuffs while they searched the car. They ended up giving me a ride home and took him to jail. Apparently it was a stolen car. I never saw him again, as he was extradited to another state for outstanding warrants.” via GIPHY “I went to go pick a guy up, and he and his friend were shooting up heroin in his living room. Then he got mad at me for being ‘closed-minded.'” “I was seeing a guy who would constantly tell me about memes he saw on the Internet. At one point, he told me about this Walking Dead meme and tried to show me a picture of it when we were out having dinner. I told him I didn’t watch the show, so I wouldn’t understand it nor find it funny. But he decided to show me the meme anyways.” “The guy informed me that I ‘shouldn’t have worn heels for him’ because I was walking ‘like a dog that someone had put socks on.'” via GIPHY “I went to the movies with this guy my friend set me up with – we saw The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Nothing like sitting next to an almost-stranger watching anal rape scenes.” “I met my date at a wine bar thinking we were going to have a regular person date. Things were going regular until he pulled out his Bible and started reading me all the parts where a woman’s place is serving men.” Posts have been edited for length and clarity from Reddit.