And Jean-Claude Van Damme as Secretary of Defense

Veteran Variety columnist Army Archerd has offered his services as presidential press secretary to Warren Beatty when and if the movie star takes office. “I promised not to pull a George Stephanopoulos and reveal any presidential or White House insider info when I leave after Beatty runs for a second term,” Archerd reveals in today’s column. And Warren’s reaction? “Beatty laughed, but I wasn’t kidding . . . then again, it’s hard to know when Warren is or isn’t kidding. It’s also sometimes hard to know what Warren is saying, since he is so often saying nothing.”

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