Amy Schumer's Most Candid Quotes on Her Dating Life, Dark Past and More

The Trainwreck comedian, whose new memoir The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo is available in stores, is refreshingly open about her past struggles

ON THE FUTURE OF HER SHOW

"Right now there are no plans for the TV show to come back in the near future, so nobody is on my staff. There are no writers. People, they want [Kurt Metzger's] head; they want to burn him at the stake. I want them to not attach me to what he's writing." – to Charlie Rose

ON RAPE CULTURE

Taylor Hill/FilmMagic

"Let's focus on actually getting the problem done. I was sexually assaulted. I have encouraged women to come out … I want men to hear what happened so that there's no confusion, because people have different understandings of what sexual assault is, what rape is. Let's all get on the same page so that it happens less." – to Charlie Rose

ON THE PUBLIC'S PERCEPTION OF HER

Theo Wargo/WireImage

"I think people would be pretty surprised to learn I've never had an abortion. There are times in my life I'm sure I would have, I've just never gotten pregnant. People think of me, they picture me drinking a 40 out of a bag on my way to get an abortion." – to PEOPLE

ON BEING AN INTROVERT

AKM-GSI

"I think realizing that about myself and not fighting it, but instead just taking care of myself and letting myself recharge and having time on my own and also planning for that has made me better and able to do more." – to PEOPLE

ON HER MOTHER LEAVING HER DAD FOR HER BEST FRIEND'S FATHER

Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty

"We are kind to one another but I keep my boundaries clear. I have never given up on her. I can't, and I never will." – to PEOPLE

ON HER FATHER'S ILLNESS

Getty

"My father was no angel. I know he did dirtbag things behind my mom's back. My dad was as serious an alcoholic as they came… The only thing that slowed down his drinking was multiple sclerosis."a – in her memoir

ON HER RELATIONSHIP WITH HER PARENTS

GC Images

"The saddest revelation I've had in my life is that my parents are people. Sad, human people." – in her memoir

ON AN EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE EX

Buckner/Variety/REX/Shutterstock

"I got hurt by accident a lot that year. He'd get jealous about something I did and would squeeze my arm too hard and I'd get a horrible bruise but of course it was an accident, and he always felt terrible afterward." – to PEOPLE

ON LOSING HER VIRGINITY TO A BOYFRIEND WHO TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HER

Mark Davis/Getty

"Without asking first, without kissing me, without so much as looking me in the eyes – or even confirming if I was awake … I was confused as to why he would have done this to me in this way, but the most dominant feeling I felt was that the guy I was in love with was upset and I wanted to help him." – in her memoir

ON HER RELATIONSHIP WITH HER SISTER KIM

Charles Sykes/Invision for the Television Academy/AP

"Not to sound crazy, but she's the blood in my veins. She literally keeps me having fun and laughing and feeling grounded. If we didn't have each other to turn to and say, 'What are we doing?'… She makes life feel real. I just love her." – to PEOPLE

ON HER FIRST DATE WITH BOYFRIEND BEN HANISCH, WHO SHE MET ON A DATING APP

Source: Been Hanisch/Instagram

"We smiled at each other and in that moment, everything felt right." – in her memoir