10 Best Quotes at the 2011 CMAs

"Oh sorry! Didn't mean to touch you there."
– Brad Paisley, accidentally fondling presenter Miss Piggy's bosom

"It's always good to come home ... and see all my relatives."
– Reese Witherspoon, on her Nashville homecoming, before presenting male vocalist of the year to Blake Shelton

"It's just hard not to sing every song. It's hard not to go, 'Hey, Lionel ... [sings] Hello? You're a Commodore, man!'"
– Gary LeVox, gushing over Lionel Richie, with whom Rascal Flatts performed "Dancing on the Ceiling" during the CMT pre-show

"Look at Blake and Miranda: 179 days – that's like two forevers!"
– Brad Paisley, comparing newlyweds Shelton and Lambert to Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries

"I don't know where he's at. So I brought my other date: Jack Daniel's."
– Kellie Pickler, on the absence of husband Kyle Jacobs during the CMT pre-show

Carrie: "You can get drunk and carry on."
Brad: "But you can't compare the president to Hitler."
– CMA hosts Carrie Underwood and Paisley, reprimanding Hank Williams Jr.'s TV interview faux pas, during their opening monologue

"I would look forward, if I was a viewer, to me tripping Kenny as he comes out on the stage. And be like, 'I told you b–h!'"
– Blake Shelton, on his faux rivalry with Kenny Loggins, with whom he performed "Footloose" during the CMT pre-show

"I hate to admit this, but I don't work out. Don't hate me!"
– American Idol alum Lauren Alaina, telling PEOPLE how she dropped 25 lbs. by eating healthy

"It's called, 'It Ain't My Baby, Baby'!"
– a Bieber-costumed Little Jimmy Dickens, alluding to the pop star's paternity scandal

"Congrats to my hubby, too. It's going to be a good night tonight, baby!"
– Miranda Lambert, congratulating husband Blake Shelton during her acceptance speech for female vocalist of the year