10 Funniest Celeb Quotes This Week
"I can't help myself."
– Pamela Anderson, expressing her penchant for wearing a bikini, on The Ellen DeGeneres Show
"He's gonna be naked in all the sketches I write, for sure."
– Saturday Night Live castmember Kristen Wiig, envisioning the wardrobe for the show's season premiere host Michael Phelps, to PEOPLE
"Who knew John McCain and I would have something in common? We both chose female running mates."
– Ellen DeGeneres, comparing wife Portia de Rossi and McCain's Vice President nominee pick Sarah Palin, on the season return of her talk show
"I said, 'Am I a jukebox or something?'"
– Jennifer Hudson, recalling her response to the many requests to sing during the filming of her new movie The Secret Life of Bees, to PEOPLE
"The Pope was furious and said: I specifically requested 'Material Girl.' "
– Conan O'Brien, joking about Madonna's dedication of 'Like a Virgin' to the pontiff, on Late Night
"I meant to say that there are specific areas of my wife that are larger than normal and growing every day ... I apologize to her and will be coming home with flowers."
– Jerry O'Connell, asking for forgiveness after calling his pregnant wife Rebecca Romijn "huge" on Late Night with Conan O'Brien, to PEOPLE
"He'll be getting salty soon."
– Matthew McConaughey, predicting that new son Levi will follow in his surfer footsteps, while promoting his upcoming movie Surfer Dude in Santa Monica
"That was the most shocking thing that happened on the show. Other than Tucker Carlson trying to dance."
– Dancing with the Stars host Tom Bergeron, comparing Marie Osmond's infamous faint on live TV to the political correspondent's dance moves, to PEOPLE
"Sidney Poitier said,'Be responsible for the films you put out there.' Which makes it tough when you want to sign to do Booty Call II."
– Jamie Foxx, on the best career advice he's received from one Oscar winner to another, to PEOPLE
"Someone, who can only be described as a 'Canadian,' was able to get onstage, somehow managed to evade our crack security team (Trotters Independent Security Service) and assaulted my mid-riff."
– Oasis frontman Noel Gallagher, on being attacked onstage during a performance with brother Liam at the Virgin Festival in Toronto, on his band's blog