10 Best Celeb Quotes This Week

"I can't lie. It didn't suck making out with Channing [Tatum] and Justin [Timberlake]."
– Amanda Seyfried, on a hard day's work locking lips with her Dear John and Now costars, respectively, to Elle

"May the record state – still sober!"
– A rehabbed and proud of it David Arquette, who was neither under the influence before or after his head-on car accident, on Twitter

"This is not a spatula. This is a cooking wand for a warlock."
– Self-proclaimed supernatural being Charlie Sheen, sharing his in a new video for FunnyorDie.com

"All of my songs are f---ing amazing."
– Britney Spears, to Out

"At night, just before bedtime, I usually tell [my kids], 'We're only here for a small amount of time. No one really knows what happens after we die. Have a good night's sleep'…Then I jump back in the room 10 minutes later screaming."
– Conan O'Brien, imparting his parenting wisdom, on Martha Stewart Presents: Men Who Make Us Laugh

"He's obsessed with Buzz Lightyear! Lately he'll only answer to Buzz and he calls me Jessie. I say, 'Brady?' and he replies, 'I Buzz, you Jessie!'"
– Melissa Joan Hart, on her Toy Story-obsessed 2-year-old son Brady, to PEOPLE

"He actually came to Bangkok when we were filming. It was very embarrassing. We were like, 'Bob, please. No.'"
– Bradley Cooper, joking about Limitless costar Robert De Niro's plea to be in Hangover 2, to Parade

"There's nothing worse than a fat coke head."
– Former world heavyweight champ Mike Tyson, on letting himself go before getting sober and becoming vegan, on The Ellen DeGeneres Show

"I think it's because I'm English she kind of thinks of me as a butler."
– Russell Brand, on tending to wife Katy Perry, on The View

"Andy, give my nose back, I need it to breathe!"
– This week's Saturday Night Live host Zach Galifianakis, giving a preview of the show's shenanigans during a game of with Andy Samberg
Last Week's 10 Best Celeb Quotes >