10 Best Celeb Quotes This Week

"I was on Baywatch twice. The second time, I played a blind girl who's lost in the forest next to the beach and needs to be saved. It was absurd: There's a fire, I get saved, and then I go boogie-boarding. I remember thinking, 'Well, if I'm blind, how am I boogie-boarding?' No one ever gave me an answer."
– Mila Kunis, sharing her secret TV past on the popular '90s series, to W

"It was all the girls from Glee, and then Beyoncé and Gwyneth – it was the most fabulous bathroom break ever!"
– Dianna Agron, gushing about her starstruck trip to the ladies' room at a Grammys afterparty, on Jimmy Kimmel Live!

"Asking the director...to move my mark a little bit so I could be next to a piece of furniture or a table so I wouldn't fall over – that is an expert move by a seasoned professional."
– Veteran actor and partier Charlie Sheen, who says he's never filmed Two and Half Men while intoxicated, on learning how to work "having not slept much," on The Dan Patrick Show

"Hello Facebook. Yes, this is actually Lindsay. Welcome to my Facebook page!"
– Lindsay Lohan, confusing her social media networks, on Twitter

"That trash is delusional and I would sooner stab...knives into my own eyes than see her on this network."
– Bravo executive Andy Cohen, who later said he got "a little carried away" about the prospect of Heidi Montag joining The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, on his show Watch What Happens Live

"The Grammys have kind of screwed up Valentine's Day for everybody here because we're all going to get wasted tonight...and we're going to feel like crap. The last thing we're going to want to do tomorrow is touch each other."
– Blake Shelton, who gave a run-down of his romantic plans with fellow country star and fiancée Miranda Lambert, to PEOPLE

"Paris's driveway looks like Skittles."
– Wendy Williams, showing photos of the heiress's sweet new yellow Lexus – a 30th birthday gift from boyfriend Cy Waits – parked next to her pink Bentley, on her talk show

"I swear I didn't realize it until recently when I went, 'Holy crap – I've lived the last five years with Geronimo's hairdo.'"
– Billy Ray Cyrus, finally coming to terms with his Hannah Montana hair disaster, to GQ

"Ken and I were made for each other. Our love is grander than any dream house."
– Barbie, who reunited with Ken after a seven-year break thanks to his Facebook and Twitter campaign to win her back, to USA Today

"You know, Britney Spears did this once and it worked out great for her."

– Jimmy Kimmel, after he appeared to shave Justin Bieber's head completely bald on his late show

Last Week's 10 Best Celeb Quotes >