Brooke Mueller on Her Bond with Ex Charlie Sheen, Relapse and Recovery: 'If I Try to Sugarcoat It, I'd Be Lying' (Exclusive)

Brooke Mueller is a survivor.

The actress, 47, is opening up about her struggles with addiction, as well as motherhood and her relationship with ex-husband Charlie Sheen, in an exclusive interview with PEOPLE.

Mueller, who appears in a few episodes of Bravo's new reality show Denise Richards & Her Wild Things (Richards, 54, was married to Sheen, 59, prior to Mueller), has grappled with substance abuse for more than two decades. Mueller and Sheen were married from 2008 until 2011, and they share two sons: 16-year-old twins Bob and Max.

After relapsing in the summer of 2023 following six years of sobriety, Mueller says she now classifies herself as a “stage four” addict.

“When we're at stage four, it typically means that cycle where you just have these relapses, no matter how well you get, and no matter how many years, it's just a matter of time,” she says. “I want to be honest about it, because if I try to sugarcoat it, I'd be lying to myself.”

“The darkness and the shame as we get older, that sticks with us even more because we have more evidence of pain that we've caused others and ourselves,” she adds. “It's sad for us because we don't want this, nobody would want this. And so there's got to be a mental health component to it, where our suffering sometimes gets so strong that we literally — our brain tricks us and rationalizes why this time it's okay.”

Mueller reveals she had another “slip” after her 2023 relapse, when “I convinced myself that I need[ed] ADD medication.” Although she says that she does experience symptoms of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, Mueller says that she is not in a place to be taking any potentially habit-forming drugs.

“I somehow find these excuses, and I genuinely believe them, where I'll justify and rationalize why I need a prescription for Adderall,” she says. “The last relapse I had was on something that can be abused, and the bottle is gone in a day and a half.”

Mueller says her doctors call her an "anomaly."

“In some ways, I guess I'm lucky," she says, "but I wouldn't say living a life like this is any sort of great life. I'm not talking about now, but imagine you build up everything back. You finally gained the trust and the respect, and the kids are being dropped off in your care and then constantly throwing it all away, not even knowing why or how because you weren't planning on it.”

Despite the well-chronicled ups and downs of their relationship, she says that Sheen, who has also battled addiction in the past, has always been “my first call for help,” no matter the circumstances.

“He gets it,” she says. “He's always there to help me and pick up the pieces.”

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Still, Mueller says that she and Sheen have dealt with addiction differently.

“He knows his whole addiction history, and [thinks], ‘If I can just stop without one AA meeting or without needing any whatever, then why can't you?’ ” says Mueller. “I think he thinks it's more about just making a choice, and then with the addiction [mindset], sometimes we don't have a choice. We get to a point to where we don't have a choice.”

She continues: “But if I look back at our marriage, he was always one that could shut it off and turn it off and go to sleep, and I would be taking the car sneaking out to Skid Row.”

Today, Mueller says her twin sons with Sheen are “thriving,” but she admits they've seen a lot.

“The sad reality, is they get used to it — Mommy is going to relapse again one day,” she says, acknowledging that the situation is “unfair” to them. “They've never tried a drink or drugs or been on a date yet. I can't tell you what I was doing at 15. They ended up being with their group of friends that happened to be really good kids.”

She gives Sheen, who lives in the same apartment complex, a lot of credit, noting he is there for them.

“We share custody, we co-parent without attorneys, which is great,” Mueller says. “And I'm very grateful for that. The fact he gives me yet another chance shows his deep true heart underneath.”

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, please contact the SAMHSA helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.