Enter author Robin Rinaldi, whose The Wild Oats Project: One Woman’s Midlife Quest for Passion at Any Cost hits bookstores Tuesday.
The freelance journalist was with her husband for 18 years when, in her late 30s, he refused her wish to have a baby. “I suddenly had these urges – physical, emotional – that I could no longer deny,” Rinaldi, now 50, says in a video to promote the book. “And it was just like, no more being the good girl!”
In a book excerpt published by The New York Post, Rinaldi writes that her matrimonial sex life was “stuck in a rut” and, having had “only” three other lovers before her husband (whom she calls “Scott” in the book), she confronted him:
“I broke the news to Scott that I wanted an open marriage in early 2008, a few months after his vasectomy. ‘I won t go to my grave with no children and four lovers,’ I told him repeatedly. ‘I refuse.’ ”
For what she called her “year of living dangerously,” she rented a studio apartment during the week and returned home to married life on weekends. She solicited partners for her experiment in open marriage via the website nerve.com and lists intimacy with women (two of her 12 sex partners were women, she says) among the many “firsts” she experienced that year.
It’s only too bad the Valentine book-buying season has passed because (spoiler alert), Rinaldi’s story goes from ribald to romantic as she finds her happily-ever-after with “Alden” (not his real name, either), one of her hook-ups from nerve.com.
“Five years on, Alden and I are happily living together. It’s a regular, monogamous relationship,” Rinaldi writes. “As for not having children, I’m at peace with that, too. First I channeled the creativity I would have used to become a mom into my sexuality, and then I channeled it into writing my memoir. As my story shows, there are many different ways in life to find passion and fulfillment.”