In her new memoir, Kelly Osbourne describes the wild things she witnessed while on tour with her dad Ozzy

By Sam Gillette
April 25, 2017 04:21 PM
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As the daughter of “Prince of Darkness” Ozzy Osbourne, Kelly Osbourne was never going to have a traditional childhood. In fact, as she reveals in her new memoir, she had an X-rated youth that involved witnessing lots of sex, standing by for many graphic performances and unknowingly being on tour with a pedophile.

“My friends now might wonder why I’m single and don’t trust men, but they need only look back to my time on tour to understand why: the dynamic between the groupies and the bands was disgusting,” writes the TV host in There Is No F*cking Secret: Letters from a Badass Bitch (out now). “It wasn’t unusual to walk in on someone in the middle of the act. Everyone just did their best to ignore it and walk off.”

Structured as a series of essays, the 32-year-old dedicates chapters of her book to her parents, her struggle for sobriety, Joan Rivers, her body, dating, fashion and more. Some of the craziest tales come from a chapter dedicated to Ozzfest — her “heavy metal family.”

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While there was camaraderie, some aspects of Kelly’s time on tour were disturbing. Ian Watkins, the then lead singer of Lostprophets, was on tour with them and creeped out a young Kelly “from day one.” In 2016, he was sentenced to 29 years in jail for a string of sex crimes against very young children.

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“He looked at people as if they were food, and he had an evil appetite that could not be filled,” she writes. “He was uncomfortably nice, in a way that told me instantly that he had something big to hide.”

Beyond this disturbing encounter, Kelly reveals that her family and the crew remained “one great big happy rock ‘n’ roll juggernaut.” She reveled in her time with major rock bands that joined Ozzfest, but the groupies were the “rudest” to her and her brother. Their focus was the rockstars, whom they loved to entertain in ways usually reserved for hardcore porn.

“There was the girl who was convinced to take off all her clothes and do naked jumping jacks while chanting, ‘I love Ozzy! I love Ozzy’ just so she could get a free glow stick,” she writes.

Ozzy Osbourne addressed his relationship with groupies — specifically sex with groupies — in an interview with Esquire in 2004.

“It’s like going into a pastry shop. Everybody says, ‘I’m not touching anything ’cause it will spoil me lunch.’ But you’ve got to have a piece of chocolate or cream,” he said.

“I’m in a f—ing rock band, aren’t I?” he said, when asked about his infidelity. “There have always been groupies. I just got caught, didn’t I?”

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His wife added to the sex and rock ‘n’ roll atmosphere by throwing parties at the end of tours. In her book, Kelly remembers a variety of entertainment, including porn stars and fire eaters. She recalls one stripper putting two liters of water up her vagina and then spraying the crowd.

“The spray hit me, and I started screaming bloody murder,” she writes. “Dad ran over, hooked me under one arm, and then hauled me to the bathroom and shoved me in the shower with all my clothes on.”

Despite this scarring experience, the chapter about Ozzfest serves more as an ode than a criticism.

“To an outsider, Ozzfest might seem shocking, but for me, I was more shocked when I went into the rest of the world,” she concludes. “To this day, I will gravitate toward the freaks wherever I am, because that’s what I am. That’s who I am. And I have Ozzfest to thank for that!”