The former Playboy model talks to PEOPLE about penning her new tome

By Lindsay Kimble
Updated June 26, 2015 02:00 PM
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Laurence Cottrell/FilmMagic

Holly Madison‘s tell-all new memoir, Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny, has caused no shortage of drama, pitting bunny against bunny. The former Playboy model says writing the memoir, however, was the “embarrassing” part – rather than the headline-making aftereffects.

“It’s very embarrassing – I mean, there were chapters that were very hard for me to write,” she tells PEOPLE Now, continuing, “and during the writing process I kept skipping over them and saying, ‘Okay, I’m going to go back to this chapter,’ and it’s very hard to be this honest.”

Madison’s book details her time as one of 89-year-old Hugh Hefner‘s girlfriends in the Playboy Mansion, a time period in her life she says made her “suicidal.”

Following the star’s shocking claims, Hefner and Madison’s Girls Next Door costar Kendra Wilkinson claimed that Madison was rewriting history as revenge.

Madison, who insists that “everything in the book is 100 percent true,” says reliving her days in the mansion was the hardest part of telling “the truth.”

Holly Madison Fires Back at Kendra Wilkinson: ‘Hef Actually Did Put Me in His Will and I Left’

“I’m not asking anyone to feel sorry for me, but I did a lot of things I’m embarrassed of, I made a lot of mistakes, I was very young and naive when I got into this situation, and of course that’s embarrassing,” she tells PEOPLE Now, “and for people to know the truth and to know where I’m coming from, I need to put the whole truth out.”