Entertainment Books Every Bombshell Confession from Demi Moore's Memoir, 'Inside Out' The actress has detailed her experiences with infidelity, rape and recovery in her new book, which was released on Sept. 24, 2019 By Diane J. Cho Diane J. Cho Diane J. Cho was the Features Editor of PEOPLE Digital from 2019 to 2022. She worked at the brand for nearly four years covering news, features, human interest, evergreen, holiday gift guides and more. She launched the How I Parent and What It's Really Like to Be …. digital series and has interviewed several celebrities and influential leaders within the entertainment industry. Prior to joining PEOPLE, Diane worked at Bustle, VH1 and Complex. She received her bachelor's degree in Journalism from Rutgers University and her master's degree from Columbia Journalism School. People Editorial Guidelines Published on September 26, 2019 03:36 PM Share Tweet Pin Email Trending Videos 01 of 11 Early Childhood Trauma Demi Moore/Instagram The memoir begins with stories from the star's rocky upbringing, including the time her "charming womanizer" granddaddy got decapitated after drunkenly driving into a moving truck and when she got eye surgery at 14 to correct her lazy eye. Her most notable early stories, however, involve her mother's first attempted suicide and the time Moore was raped at the age of 15. Moore recalled using her fingers to dig pills out of her mother's mouth, which was just the first of "many" suicide attempts her mother made before she died in 1998. “[My childhood] was done,” Moore said. “[It was a] life-changing moment.” During a September 2019 interview with Diane Sawyer on Good Morning America, Moore dug deeper on the topic of her rape and revealed that her rapist asked her at the time, "How does it feel to be whored by your mother for $500?" When asked by Sawyer if she thought her mother sold her, Moore said "no." "In my deep heart, I don’t think it was a straightforward transaction," Moore explained. "But she still did give him the access and put me in harm's way." Inside Out also talks about both of Moore's parents' battles with alcoholism, and that she later learned that the man she grew up calling dad, Danny Guynes (who later died by suicide), was not her biological father. The traumatic incident led her to believe that she "wasn’t wanted" and that she didn't "deserve to be here." 02 of 11 Nude Photos Lead to a Modeling Career Demi Moore/Instagram The actress detailed her dodgy introduction into modeling, which took place while she was still underage. A friend had suggested that she work with a man who took nude photos and sold them to magazines in Japan. The offer enticed the star, who needed the money at the time, so she lied about her age and went for it. "Fortunately, the photographer turned out to be very professional, even as he was enouraging me to strike all sorts of provocative poses," she wrote. "I was comforted when he told me about a Japanese law prohibiting photos showing pubic hair—I could tell myself I was only posing seminude, which seemed much better than the alternative." The images ended up being her "ticket into more modeling," which eventually landed her a contract with Elite Model Management. 03 of 11 First Big Break Mixed With 'A Lot of Cocaine' Snap/Shutterstock Moore was 20 years old when she landed her first movie, Blame It on Rio. The 1984 flick, which also starred Valerie Harper and Michael Caine as her parents, was shot in Brazil. It was her first time out of the country and the first time she could "experiment with figuring out the me I wanted to be, without any encumbrances." The exciting experience also became the catalyst to a bad drug habit. "It was an awakening in so many expansive and postive ways, offset, unfortunately, by a lot of cocaine," she wrote. "I nearly burned a hole through my nostrils while I was in Brazil." 04 of 11 Taking Jon Cryer's Virginity ... Maybe Columbia/Kobal/Shutterstock While filming 1984's No Small Affair, Moore revealed that she believed she had taken Cryer's virginity during their time together on set. “I played a young nightclub singer, and Jon Cryer played the nineteen-year-old photographer who falls in love with her, in his first movie role,” Moore wrote. “Jon fell for me in real life, too, and lost his virginity to me while we were making that movie.” She continued, “It pains me to think of how callous I was with his feelings — that I stole what could have been such an important and beautiful moment from him.” Cryer later denied that she had taking his virginity in a tweet that said, "Well, the good thing about this is she doesn’t have to feel bad about it anymore, because while I’m sure she was totally justified making that assumption based on my my [sic] skill level (and the stunned look on my face at the time), I had actually lost my virginity in high school." He did, however, confirm that she was right about one thing: "I was over the moon for her during a very troubled time in her life," he added. "I have nothing but affection for her and not a regret in the world." The actor also wrote about his "inaugural Hollywood romance" in his own 2015 memoir, So That Happened. Cryer wrote that he was devastated when he was told by Moore’s housekeeper that she was “out with her boyfriend” when he stopped by her home, according to TV Guide. Years later when Cryer met with Moore’s then-husband Ashton Kutcher to discuss him joining Two and a Half Men, Kutcher told Cryer, “Oh, man, I just want to say, Demi told me you guys use to date. Totally cool. Don’t feel weird about it.” 05 of 11 Infidelity Before Marriage Demi and Freddy Moore. Ron Galella Collection/Getty Before Ashton Kutcher or Bruce Willis, Moore was married to musician Freddy Moore for five years. She was just 18 when they married in 1980 and, according to her book, she cheated on him shortly before tying the knot. “The night before we got married, instead of working on my vows, I was calling a guy I’d met on a movie set,” Moore wrote. “I snuck out of my own bachelorette party and went to his apartment.” “Why did I do that? Why didn’t I go and see the man I was committing to spend the rest of my life with to express my doubts? Because I couldn’t face the fact that I was getting married to distract myself from grieving the death of my father,” she continued. “Because I felt there was no room to question what I’d already put in motion. I couldn’t get out of the marriage, but I could sabotage it.” 06 of 11 Forced Into Rehab Before Filming St. Elmo's Fire Once Moore was cast to star in the 1985 cult classic, she was required to check into the Betty Ford clinic at 21. Unbeknownst to the star, director Joel Schumacher and two of the producers of the movie had wanted to help her quit her alcohol and cocaine use so they had her admitted, which Moore later saw "as some version of divine intervention." She completed the 30-day program in 15 days and was required to have a counselor with her 24/7 for the entire period of filming. "If I'd had to give up the movie and go through the program to get sober for myself, I doubt I would have done it," she wrote. "I just didn't value myself enough for that. But with the film at stake, and this enormous support from Craig Baumgarten, Joel Schumacher, and his colleagues, who I didn't want to let down, I had something much bigger than me to fight for. And so I did." 07 of 11 Parenting with, Then Divorcing, Bruce Willis Bruce Willis and Demi Moore in 1988. Ron Galella/WireImage The star also opened up about her marriage with ex-husband Willis. The two were married from 1987-2000 and had two weddings. The first was a quickie ceremony in Las Vegas and the second was a grand, hollywoodesque wedding, where they had Little Richard perform and Annie Leibovitz as their wedding photographer. After a whirlwind romance, Moore wrote that Willis eventually thought her career was taking time away from their family, and that he wasn't sure if he wanted to be married. The two endured a very public divorce, after having daughters Rumer, Scout and Tallulah. Despite the friction, Moore wrote, "It’s a funny thing to say, but I’m very proud of our divorce." “I think Bruce was fearful at the beginning that I was going to make our split difficult, and that I would express my anger and whatever baggage that I had from our marriage by obstructing his access to the kids — that I’d turn to all of those ploys divorcing couples use as weapons,” she continued. “But I didn’t, and neither did he.” Moore admitted the split “wasn’t easy at first, but we managed to move the heart of our relationship, the heart of what created out family, into something new that gave the girls a loving, supportive environment with both parents.” In fact, Moore said, “We felt more connected than we did before the divorce.” The coparents continue to support each other in their own endeavors. Moore attended Willis' vow renewal to his current wife Emma Heming in March 2019, and Willis came to the actress' Inside Out book launch party in L.A. in September 2019, along with their three daughters. 08 of 11 Addiction to Exercise Demi Moore in Striptease. Courtesy Everette Collection Moore got into details about her addiction to exercise during the height of her acting career. She said her "obsession with working out" began with her training for the movie A Few Good Men, in which she played a naval lawyer. The actress had just given birth to her second daughter with Willis, Scout, and she pushed herself to the edge to lose the baby weight. “I didn’t feel like I could stop exercising,” she wrote. “It was my job to fit into that unforgiving military uniform I’d be wearing in two months in A Few Good Men. Getting in shape for that movie launched the obsession with working out that would consume me over the next five years. I never dared let up.” Moore said her “excessive exercising” meant that there was not enough fat in her breast milk, and Scout was not growing the way she should. Her doctor told Moore to supplement Scout’s milk with formula, and she “was crushed” — but kept working out. Moore's following roles in Indecent Proposal and Striptease only fueled her unhealthy obsession. “When I was making Striptease, for breakfast I would measure out a half cup of oatmeal and prepare it with water, then for the rest of the day I would have only protein and some vegetables — and that was it,” she wrote. "If all this obsessing about my body sounds crazy to you, you’re not wrong: eating disorders are crazy, they are a sickness. But that doesn’t make them less real.” 09 of 11 Moore Became the Highest Paid Actress in Hollywood While Willis was Earning Almost Double Ron Wolfson/WireImage The actress was offered over $12 million for her role in Striptease, which was more money than any other woman in Hollywood had ever been offered at the time. Producers for Striptease and G.I. Jane, another film Moore was pegged for, got into a bidding war to see who could get Moore to film first. Striptease won and Moore instantly became the highest paid actress in Hollywood. At the same time, her then-husband Willis had been paid over $20 million for the third Die Hard movie. "In Hollywood at that time—and, unfortuntely, still—for some reason a man is worth almost double what a woman is," she wrote. "But instead of people seeing my big payday as a step in the right direction for women or calling me an inspiration, they came up with something else to call me: Gimme Moore." 10 of 11 Allegations of Cheating & Threesomes with Ashton Kutcher Jason Merritt/Getty The ex-couple, who were married for eight years before divorcing in 2013, had a tumultuous relationship that had lasting effects on Moore, she says. In Inside Out, the actress writes about having two threesomes with Kutcher that left her with feelings of "shame." “I put him first,” Moore wrote. “So when he expressed his fantasy of bringing a third person into our bed, I didn’t say no. I wanted to show him how great and fun I could be.” Although Moore said the women who participated in the threesomes were "good people," she called the experiences "a mistake." “Because we had brought in a third party into our relationship, Ashton said, that blurred the lines and, to some extent, justified what he’s done,” Moore wrote of her former husband’s alleged cheating. Another incident that brought Moore shame includes the time she said Kutcher took a drunken photo of her in Mexico. Moore wrote of her "gradual downward spiral" during her 45th birthday trip across the border. While celebrating with friends, Moore wrote that she started drinking heavily and was “passing out and slipping under the water” in a hot tub. She claimed Kutcher was “furious” and carried her back to bed, but that his mixed signals about her drinking were “confusing.” “Ashton had encouraged me to go in this direction. When I went too far, though, he let me know how he felt by showing a picture he’d taken of me resting my head on the toilet the night before,” she wrote. “It seemed like a good-natured joke at the time. But it was really just shaming.” 11 of 11 Suffering a Miscarriage Victor Boyko/GC/Getty Two years into her marriage to Kutcher, Moore revealed that she had gotten pregnant at 42 and then lost her child almost six months into the pregnancy. “I can’t even really bring fully to words how lost, empty, desperate, confused … I really lost sight of everything that was right in front of me, which was the family that I had,” Moore said of her feelings after losing the child, a girl who she would have named Chaplin Ray. After the couple divorced in 2013, Moore began abusing substances like Vicodin and alcohol. “I lost me,” Moore told Diane Sawyer during her Good Morning America interview. “I think the thing if I were to look back, I would say I blinded myself and I lost myself.” During that time, her three daughters stopped speaking to her, and her former husband and friend, Bruce Willis, grew distant as well.