By Maria Yagoda
November 06, 2015 02:25 PM
Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty

As YouTube’s most popular (and highest-earning) star, PewDiePie has already conquered the Internet. Now, the comedian/gamer, known to his parents as Felix Kjellberg, is finding success far away from computer screens. His new tome, This Book Loves You, is already topping best-seller lists.

Kjellberg’s intro sets the entire book’s tone; it’s full of that goofy, snarky charm that gained him more than 40 million subscribers.

“I decided to write a book of inspirational quotes a whole book filled with the wisdom of PewDiePie. I hope, perhaps, that this book will motivate, encourage and energize all of you into living your lives to the fullest? Maybe it will help you to view those inspirational quotes you see on the Internet with a more skeptical eye? Or perhaps you’ll font it a welcome distraction from that difficult bowel movement you’re experience as you read?” he writes.

He adds: “I hope you enjoy it, but don’t eat it. The lasagna version will be released in the near future.”

Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty

Here are just a few pearls of wisdom that we’ve gleaned from Kjellberg, who has generously agreed to spread his insights to the masses in book form:

1. “Never forget you are beautiful compared to a fish. Life is all about perspective!”

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2. “Don’t be afraid to say how you feel, because no one is going to care anyway.”

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3. “If you can fight your way out of a situation, don’t. You’ll die!”

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4. “Nothing in life comes easy. So why do you expect something out of a quote.”

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5. “Your pet only loves you because you give it food.”

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6. “Don’t be yourself. Be a pizza. Everyone loves pizza.”

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7. “Impossible is nothing. Doing nothing is easy. So do nothing!!”

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8. “If you ever take advice from a duck, remember: Don’t. Ducks can’t talk. You’re probably on drugs.”

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9. “Every day is a new fresh start to go straight back to bed.”

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Thanks for the inspo, man.

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