Rather than celebrating after losing 523 lbs., Christina Phillips is on edge.
Phillips, 25, is so afraid to gain back the weight, she gets on the scale “several times a day” and restricts her food if she’s gained.
“Lately any time I see the scale go up, I tend to freak out and I stop eating for a couple days,” Phillips says in this exclusive clip from Wednesday’s episode of My 600-lb Life: Where Are They Now?
Because of her body image struggles, Phillips’ doctor asked her to see a therapist.
“He thinks I’m pushing myself too hard to lose weight,” Phillips says. “I know I’m not 700 lbs. anymore, but I still feel that way. And I don’t know how to change how I feel.”
And to get the skin removal surgery that Phillips now wants, her doctor says she needs to actually gain weight. But Phillips can’t reconcile that request with her current mindset.
“I still see myself as 700 or 800 lbs., and people staring at me – it just makes me not want to leave the house at all,” Phillips says.
She says that while she divorced her husband and is now in a loving relationship, one of her biggest fears is disappointing people.
“In the beginning I had a lot of people doubt me. I was in a really abusive relationship. And that definitely, I think, has had a negative impact on me. It hurts. In my heart, in my head.”
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Phillips is hoping that therapy will help her finally improve her body image.
“I know I need to work through some things,” she says. “When I was 700 lbs., I felt worthless, and like I didn’t deserve anything better than the life I had. And now my fear of gaining weight has crippled me. But I have to move past that fear if I want to live my life.”
TLC s My 600-lb Life: Where Are They Now? airs Wednesday nights at 9/8c.