At 51, Diane Lane is over feeling insecure about her body, but facing middle age took some work.
“I rehearsed 50. I kind of stared at it a long time. I wasn’t going to let it terrify me,” Lane tells MORE magazine for its March cover.
But now she’s more than comfortable with the number.
“My relationship with aging is cozy. I’m not trying to play 29 and holding on with white knuckles, you know? I’m done saying, ‘I’m sorry I wasn’t who you needed or wanted me to be’ to everybody in my life.”
Lane, who’s starring in the upcoming Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, didn’t always have that confidence. At age 12, Eileen Ford herself rejected Lane as a model.
“Imagine if somebody said your nose is too big or your ears stick out. For me, it was my neck was too short,” Lane says. “It stuck with me all my life.”
And just like everyone, the body doubts creep in occasionally.
“The largest room in the world is room for improvement,” she philosophizes. “You know, some mornings my thighs are fat. Some days my hair looks great.”
“That’s the human condition. Things hurt me just as much as anyone else. My insecurities, failures. I’m vulnerable to comparisons.”
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But those comparisons are a part of being a woman that she wishes didn’t exist.
“Remember those ‘Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful’ ads? We grew up with that s—,” Lane says. “It was the start of that psychoanalytical thing in our culture where we market to women by making women compete with each other. I found it very discordant. So you’re not allowed to say ‘I’m pretty,’ because you might get eaten alive by the rest of the tribe, you know?”
“And the fact is that most – I mean, I don’t even know if we could run down the list of all the industries that exist because of the propagation of female insecurity.”
“To be honest, relationships with the opposite sex are the most challenging things I’ve done,” she says. “You lose your compass, gravity changes, you don’t know what’s up or down, you’re trying to figure it out. You’re trying to make everybody happy, including yourself, and it’s just it’s humbled me.”
“Sure, I’d like a relationship again, but I’m loving the solitude as well.”