No A-Lister was safe during the host's monologue

By Joseph Barracato
Updated January 16, 2011 09:05 PM
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Credit: Paul Drinkwater/NBC/AP

Ricky Gervais said he would "notch it up" for this year’s 68th Golden Globe Awards. And the British comedian took a sip of his beer and left the audience speechless right out of the gate.

No one was safe. Here are some of his most memorable zingers:

• It’s gonna be a night of partying and heavy drinking or as Charlie Sheen calls it: Breakfast.

• I haven’t even seen The Tourist. Who has?

• Do you want to go see Cher? No. Why not? Because it’s not 1975.

• Nothing for Sex and the City 2? I was sure the Golden Globes special effects would go to the team that airbrushed that poster. Girls, we know how old you are. I saw one of you in an episode of Bonanza.

I Love You Phillip Morris stars Jim Carey and Ewan McGregor, two heterosexual actors pretending to be gay. So, the complete opposite of some famous scientologists Probably, my lawyers helped me with the wording of that joke.

• Please welcome Ashton Kutcher‘s dad, Bruce Willis!

• She’s just Jenny from the block. If the block in question is that one on Rodeo Drive between Cartier and Prada.

• He’s the star of Iron Man, Two Girls and a Guy, Wonderboys. Sorry, are these porn films? Kiss Kiss (Bang Bang), Bowfinger. Really! Up the Academy. He has done all those films, but many of you in this room probably know [Robert Downey Jr.] from such facilities as the Betty Ford Clinic and Los Angles County Jail.