Amy Schumer is having the best night ever.
After killing it on the red carpet with her irresistibly uncomfortable brand of humor, the Inside Amy Schumer creator, writer and actress won an Emmy for Best Variety Sketch Series.
The comedian was uncharacteristically flustered during her acceptance speech, thanking the woman who did her smokey eye (“I really like it”), her head writer, “the suits who represent her” and her sister, among others.
“I want to thank my sister Kim, who’s the only reason I’m alive and breathing,” Schumer said.
From showing off her fresh-as-hell #Amy squad to keeping cool by storing frozen peas in her genitals, Schumer kept us laughing (and chortling, and snortling) all evening long.
Here’s why we’re crowning her Emmys Prom Queen, which we have just decided is a thing.
1. She prepped for the evening properly – with bread to the face.
2. She self-deprecated the hell out of her Emmys look – even though girl was one of the best dressed of the night.
3. She had her priorities straight.
Blacking out at 10 p.m. = the only sensible strategy. Also, very prom.
4. She had the best squad. (Sorry, Tay.)
5. She kept cool when literally everyone else was freaking out.
We get it – the red carpet was especially hot this year. Schumer kept cool the right way. “I have a bag of frozen peas in my p—y,” she told PeopleStyle.
6. She brought her sister to the red carpet – and they both looked foineee.
“We’re like the evil stepsisters. We’re pretty psyched.”
7. She has had the honor of being a Billy Joel groupie for years.
On the red carpet, Schumer revealed how she and Jennifer Lawrence ended up on stage with Billy Joel: “Honestly, Billy Joel, I’ve been a groupie for years. Touring with him, riding in the van, putting out.”