Kesha Explains the Meaning Behind Her BBMAs Performance Outfit: 'My Heart Got Stabbed'

"the story is ... my heart got stabbed. I was betrayed. I thought I was going to die," the singer wrote on Instagram

Photo: Jeff Kravitz/BBMA2016/FilmMagic

Kesha was approved to perform at Sunday’s Billboard Music Awards on the conditions she could not discuss her ongoing lawsuit with Dr. Luke, but that couldn’t stop her wardrobe from doing the talking.

The “Tik Tok” singer, who performed Bob Dylan’s “It Ain’t Me Babe,” wore a white two-piece ensemble that was decorated with different embroidered images. While fans and viewers tried to interpret the signs on her blazer correctly, Kesha, 29, explained the meanings behind her performance outfit the next day on Instagram.

“the story is … my heart got stabbed. I was betrayed. I thought I was going to die,” she captioned a photo of her jacket.

“then I found my rainbow by following my intuition. ( or third eye as I’ve interpreted it ) and learned to trust myself. find my real voice. and learned to love unconditionally through my relationship with that little s— Mr. peeps. that’s my nudie story,” Kesha concluded.

In the photo, the singer’s outerwear clearly shows a rainbow above an eye along with a red heart that is stabbed with a knife as well as what appears to be a cartoon of her beloved cat Mr. Peep$.

But just days before her BBMAs performance, Kesha was very close to not taking the stage. Her ongoing legal battle with Dr. Luke and his record label Kemosabe Records initially prevented her from singing on the televised show.

According to Dick Clark productions, “Kesha accepted an invitation to perform on the show and she received written approval from Dr. Luke’s record label, Kemosabe Records,” the production company told PEOPLE in a statement. “Kemosabe subsequently rescinded its approval following a media report on Wednesday, May 11 regarding Kesha’s appearance on the BBMAs. Unfortunately, Kesha and Kemosabe have since been unable to come to an agreement for Kesha to perform on the show.”

Since September 2014, Kesha and Dr. Luke, 42, have been in embroiled in a lawsuit when she took legal action to terminate her contracts with the record exec and producer after accusing him of drugging, raping and verbally and emotionally abusing her. Luke has vehemently denied the allegations, suing for defamation and breach of contract.

Not only does Kesha have an ongoing lawsuit against Luke in California, but she was also dealt a blow in her New York case in April when a Supreme Court judge dismissed all but one of Kesha’s claims.

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