The Purpose singer took to Instagram to express how he really felt after performing at Sunday's award show

By Maria Yagoda
May 23, 2016 12:35 PM

Justin Bieber may have given an electrifying performance at Sunday night’s Billboard Music Awards – and taken home an award for Top Male Artist – but the Purpose singer is not feeling so great in the aftermath of the show.

On Monday morning, Bieber took to Instagram to share how he really felt about the award show, writing a long caption under a tranquil photo of a castle and sheep.

“No disrespect to anybody at any of the shows or the people running it. Nothing but love for you guys and your support. But I don’t feel good when I’m there nor after,” he wrote. “I try to think of it as a celebration but can’t help feeling like people are rating and grading my performance.”

Bieber, who took a quick break from his Purpose World Tour to perform in Las Vegas, is unsettled by how disingenuous awards shows can be, despite all the “hollow smiles.”

“A lot of people in the audience there to be seem worried about how much camera time they will get or who they can network with,” he added. “When I’m doing a regular show I feel they are there for the right reasons and to strictly have a good time! But these award shows seem so hollow.”

He continues, “I am privileged and honored to be recognized by my peers in but in these settings I can’t feel the recognition. There’s an authenticity missing that I crave! And I wonder does anybody else…”

A source told PEOPLE this week Bieber simply “already feels beat” from his grueling tour schedule. Despite some unusual behavior – canceling meet-and-greets, saying he’s done taking pictures, getting a face tattoo) – Bieber is “totally fine,” his rep tells PEOPLE.

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