December 31, 1999 12:00 PM

Snoops

Sure, David E. Kelley created The Practice and Ally McBeal. But his muse must have been on vacation when he concocted this glossy ABC series about pretty private eyes. Late in the year—too late—the show tried to add seriousness.

Oh Grow Up

Three supposedly adult males shared a pad in this ABC sitcom crammed with annoying characters. One roomie was gay, so another had to be a womanizer. And the dog barked jokes with subtitles.

The Mike O’Malley Show

This uncouth NBC comedy got axed in only two weeks, but at least the little-known star got his name in bold type.

Double Platinum

Diana Ross and Brandy played dueling mother-daughter divas in an ABC movie that was off-key every second the stars weren’t singing.

Zoe, Duncan, Jack & Jane

The names outnumbered the laughs in this failed sitcom about old-before-their-time teens. For early 2000, The WB is said to be readying a revised version called just Zoe. We can only hope that less is more.

Netforce

This four-hour ABC techno-thriller featured lots of tapping on computer keyboards. Viewers had two alternatives: log off or doze off.

Atomic Train

Rob Lowe tried to save Denver from nuclear disaster in this dreadful NBC miniseries. He later redeemed himself as a costar of The West Wing.

Michael Landon, The Father I Knew

Director Michael Landon Jr. bared his grudges against his late dad in a CBS movie that was too bitter to tolerate.

Confirmation: The Hard Evidence of Aliens Among Us?

The question mark said it all in a cheesy NBC special that wasn’t worth a close encounter.

Bonanno: A Godfather’s Story

Watching this five-hour Showtime mini-series was like slogging through the history of the Mafia in cement shoes.

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