September 23, 2002 12:00 PM

Celebrity Clothing Drive

Winter is fast approaching, and these stars have nothing to wear. Somebody please help! Don’t let them go naked another season

Poor TWEET! Two more cans of Silly String and she would have been able to finish the dress she wore to the Soul Train Awards.

Meet PAMELA and her boyfriend KID. At the 2001 MTV Video Music Awards, her moth-eaten rags and his thin T-shirt were all that stood between the couple and nasty chest colds.

This is TARA REID. At an L.A. party in January, she was forced to accessorize with toilet paper.

Here’s KIM DELANEY at the Radio Music Awards. But where, oh where can her underpants be?

Desperate to attend MTV’s Video Music Awards, CHRISTINA AGUILERA grabbed some shears and recycled her old overalls, size 12-18 months.

Take pity on PINK—she was so strapped that she had to put her post-Grammy party outfit together with masking tape.

Wearing the Furniture

There’s no place like home. But why are so many stars decking themselves out like living rooms and dens? They must have interior motives….

To help offset recent airline cutbacks, CHER, at London’s Heathrow Airport, wisely brought her own footrest. It doubles as a hat, useful in beating the new, stricter carry-on limits.

Have couch, will travel. ALEX KINGSTON wore hers (cushion included) to the L.A. premiere of Crazy as Hell.

Talk show host ROLONDA WATTS saw them in the window and just had to have them for the BET Awards! Alas, she left behind the tiebacks.

All EVE needed to make herself comfy at the Grammy Awards were two trees and a tall iced tea.

Dress by Levolor? MING-NA, at a fund-raiser in Encino, Calif., may want to practice using the pull cord before she wears this frock again.

KRISTIN DAVIS guaranteed herself a seat at a New York City gala by wearing her own La-Z-Boy.

Ransacking Grandma’s attic for an L.A. benefit wasn’t TARA REID’s brightest move, but at least she left the Victrola, the birdcage and the chamber pot behind.

What Are They Hiding?

These model citizens would never dream of shoplifting—but, oh, if they did…

SEN. HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON at the Council of Fashion Designers of America Awards.

JILL SCOTT at the Annual BET Awards in L.A.

JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT at the World Music Awards in Monte Carlo.

FRANKA POTENTE at the Berlin Film Festival.

BIANCA JAGGER at a cultural center benefit in Water Mill, N.Y.

ANANDA LEWIS at a YM magazine party in N.Y.C.

CYNTHIA NIXON at the Writers Guild of America, East Awards in N.Y.C.

Head to Toe Horrors

Quick, cover your eyes! Some of Hollywood’s more colorful stars scare even Steven Cojocaru as they turn enchanted evenings into fashion fright nights

Someone might want to tell DAVID ARQUETTE (at an awards show) he’s supposed to stand on the red carpet, not wear it.

She’s a supermodel, so she ought to look good in anything. But HEIDI KLUM (at a children’s benefit), wearing Benjamin Moore paint chips 2026-2033, proved it ain’t easy being green.

Uh-oh! Someone had a run-in-with a cotton candy machine. INDIA.ARIE, at the Essence Awards, looks so sugary she makes me want to brush my teeth. Twice.

Denim-O-rama. Granted, the fabric is America’s second skin, but KAREN DUFFY (at a movie premiere) ought to shed some. I’ll best she wearing denim socks.

KYM WHITELY, at the BET Awards, seems bursting with pride. Maybe she just won the role of a tomato in a new Fruit of the Loom commercial.

Ho, ho, ho, SHERYL CROW, Green Giant! At a movie premiere she looked like a giant stalk of asparagus. All that’s missing is the hollandaise sauce.

Under the big top we have MACY GRAY (at a fashion awards show) dressed like a ringmaster, a performing animal or Liberace and Elton John’s love child.

Losers by a Hair

Silly blockheads! Winners from the neck down, they managed to botch the mane event

Was there a power failure white COURTENEY COX ARQUETTE styled her hair for this NBC event? How else to explain such messy tresses?

KIM CATTRALL totally ruined her little black dress (worn at a theater gala in London) by stapling a cockatoo to her head.

This is a super dress paired with a Super Bowl do. All that’s missing from JENNIFER LOPEZ‘S at the Oscars is a mouth guard and a chin strap.

Did LIAM NEESON take a limo or a jet ski to the Sex and the City premiere?

Call the tabloids! At a premiere, a flying saucer landed on SALMA HAYEK‘s head.

Dress by Emanuel Ungaro, hair by Weed Whacker? If lawns start looking like CAMERON DIAZ at the Academy Awards, she’ll have a lot to answer for.

BRITTANY MURPHY (at a premiere) was hip on bottom and hip replacement on top. Elizabeth Taylor wants her hairstyle back.

Leave it to BRITNEY SPEARS (at the Grammys) to blow a rare glamor moment with Charo hair. Not quite a curl, not quite a woman.

Dressing Their Shoe Size

Oh, grow up! It’s time to banish the party dresses and school uniforms to the lost-and-found

Whatever happened to Baby JANE POWELL? In May she was seen in her most fetching dolly dress attending a Liza Minnelli concert.

JASON SCHWARTZMAN must have borrowed his older brother’s hand-me-down suit for an L.A. premiere.

Did MILLA JOVOVICH play pin the tail on the donkey at this L.A. premiere?

JULIETTE LEWIS (at an L.A. sports and music awards fete) is late for class and unprepared for the pop quiz.

AUDREY TAUTOU (in London at an awards show) wears a piece from the Shirley Temple Evening Collection.

In midtown Manhattan, CARSON DALY looks ready to star in Home Alone 15: Lost in Times Square.

FAITH EVANS appears to be headed to a first-grade recital rather than to an L.A. music awards show.

Who’s that tooling around N.Y.C.? MIKE MYERS or Haley Joel Osment? I see babysitters!

Always Awful

Oops! They did it again…and again…and again. PEOPLE’S Steven Cojocaru cites five celebs for their chronic fashion flops


Somebody get this girl a compass—she is all over the fashion map in search of a look.

1 We’ve found Sid and Nancy’s love child!

2 Strange things happen when you dress with a full moon.

3 She looks like a magician’s assistant in Las Vegas.

4 Now she’s in search of a Grateful Dead concert.

5 Madonna on top, Frankenstein on the bottom.


Here’s someone who’s never stopped raiding Mom’s closet.

1 What outfit isn’t complete with a bed skirt on your head?

2 This is a dairy maid after she’s slipped into something more comfortable.

3 This look is downright normal for her—and even she looks shocked—but she

ruined it with the coat and shoes.

4 Is she at the premiere of My Big Fat Greek Funeral? This outfit makes me want to sob.

5 If Björk were to design a workout wear line, this would be in it.


She always seems to be in costume for a Dickens movie. And her shoes are enormous! If Hummer made footwear, this is what it would look like.

1 Good thinking, Helena! If you’re going to be on a plane, why not wear a parachute?

2 Somewhere a Muppet is shivering.

3 I really do appreciate her effort at dressing up, but good goth! Lighten up a little.

4 It’s a Santa’s helper in Albania on her lunch break.

Actress BAI LING

It’s like she has a fear of not wearing all her clothes at once. And those animal prints—Siegfried and Roy should adopt her as a pet.

1 Is this her version of business casual?

2 Fatigues are tired. Even the moths that ate through her top know that.

3 You think she looks bad, you should see the leopard!

4 On her way to a rave club in Alaska.

5 What happened to Pebbles Flintstone? Now you know.

Days of Our Lives’ SHAUNE BAGWELL

Message to brain: “I need a sassy outfit for tonight.” Brain hears: “I’m auditioning to be a game shows spokesmodel.” Subtlety is not her calling card.

1 A little bit country and a little bit overdone.

2 These pants spell, “Help me.”

3 This dress could actually work, but she ruined it with the boots.

4 Aspire to win an Emmy, Pookie, not wear one.

5 If Cher remarried, this would be her bridesmaids’ outfit.

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