How did you two get yourself into this hosting mess again?
Fey: I think of it as a chance for me and Amy to hang out as sanctioned and paid for by NBC.
Poehler: And we could just phone it in this second time. There’s always a sophomore slump. We’ll sit in chairs the whole time and tell really long inside jokes. What are they going to do? Fire us?
Any nerves this year?
Fey: I predict we’ll be more nervous. This year is all about lowering expectations: How do we keep the bar extremely low and do even less work?
Is there a preshow ritual?
Poehler: We kind of did what we do on SNL, which was to create a war room. It’s a place where we have our writers with us. Certainly no drinking before.
Do your kids watch from home?
Fey: My older daughter [Alice, 8] watched last year and drew a really great picture of Amy and me in our dresses with these quote bubbles. Instead of us saying stuff, there were a bunch of question marks. She said she wrote that because she didn’t understand any of our jokes. Well, she was only 7.
Something you learned from last year you’ll never do again?
Fey: Sadly we learned nothing.
Poehler: Nothing! Well, maybe I won’t steal people’s wallets. That caused a bit of a problem last year.
Who are you most excited to have a drink with?
Fey: You mean someone I want to take a really good picture with where I’m smiling too hard? I’m always trying to be overly familiar with people. For me, I’ve never met Emma Thompson and I would be pretty psyched to meet her.
Poehler: There are so many great women who are nominated this year. I’d like to drink with all of them. And see which one of us goes down first.
What would it take for you two to host the Oscars?
Fey: It would take four honorary Oscars each and an In-N-Out truck.
Poehler: We’re just happy to be in charge of this weird, sloppy Hollywood party.