By Oliver Jones
November 18, 2013 12:00 PM

Fire in the Hole!

Egyptologists believe King Tut spontaneously combusted due to a botched mummification. He had a feeling that Groupon was a bad idea.

Eau de Twins

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are launching two new perfumes: Nirvana White and Nirvana Black. Good luck smelling them apart.

Teenage Dream?

Mick Jagger’s rep denies Mick hit on 18-year-old Katy Perry, saying she’s “confusing him with someone else.” “Least Plausible Denials” for $1,000, Alex.

Ear Candy

Jimmy Fallon gets his ear pierced on his show by Harrison Ford, taking painful interviews to a whole new level.

Pieces of Heaven

At her charity yard sale, Oprah Winfrey sells her old stuff for $600,000. Clearly they are no longer on the list of her favorite things.