The “Hey Girl” Hotline
A company has set up a number for fans upset over Ryan Gosling‘s possible acting break. Better therapy? Watching Crazy Stupid Love shirtless scenes in slo-mo.
Phil’s Spring Flop
An Ohio prosecutor indicts Punxsutawney’s prognosticating rodent for lying about an early spring. The Buckeye state: tough on groundhogs.
Tilda Takes a Nap
When Tilda Swinton snoozes in a glass box at a museum, it’s called “performance art.” When you do it on the couch on Sunday, it’s called lazy.
Girl, You Better “Twerk”
A video of Miley Cyrus booty-popping in a unicorn onesie goes viral. Legend has it that twerking is how unicorns originally died out.
Kim, the Pinhead
Kim Kardashian shares a pic of herself getting acupuncture. Kris Humphries has a voodoo doll just like this at home.
The British prince will return to the States in May. The bad news: He’s steering clear of Vegas. The good news: He’s headed to the Jersey Shore!
S.I. cover girl Kate Upton says she’s “too busy” to accept an L.A. teen’s invitation, destroying the body-painted-prom-dress fantasies of schoolboys everywhere.