November 03, 1980 12:00 PM

by Gerald Gardner

For those whose choice in next week’s presidential election is none-of-the-above, Gardner—who once produced jokes for Robert Kennedy—has collected candid news photos of politicians and added balloon quotes. Reagan on the phone asks, “How much for a rinse and a touch-up?” Brezhnev to Ford: “I couldn’t deal with Reagan. I can’t deal with Carter. You I could deal with. You’re dumb.” Kissinger to audience: “Mr. Reagan often calls me for advice. Last week he asked, ‘Where is Bulgaria?’ ” Queen Elizabeth says: “The Royal Family is divided. Philip favors Mr. Carter and I like the other simp.” Don’t say you weren’t warned. (Ballantine, $2.95)

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