KIDS ARE PUNNY compiled by Rosie O’Donnell (Warner, $10)
She’s perceived as the Queen of Nice, the Wholesome Hostess, a woman so warm she makes Kathie Lee Gifford look surly. Since reintroducing civility to the mosh pit of daytime talk shows last June, Rosie O’Donnell has developed an aura of goodness that, like the ratings for her syndicated show, just keeps growing. O’Donnell’s latest act of kindness-kinder even than giving Donny Osmond airtime—is this sweet, chuckle-filled collection of jokes, puns and riddles sent to her show by kids, at Rosie’s request. All profits from the sale of the book go to the For All Kids Foundation, which dispenses the money to children’s charities.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?
A milk dud.
What did Snow White say when she was waiting for her photos?
Someday my prints will come.
Where do you find the world’s biggest spider?
In the World Wide Web.
How did the skunk call home?
On his smellular phone.
If a snake and an undertaker got married, what would their towels say?
Hiss and Hearse.
How do angels answer the phone?
What is Beethoven doing in his grave?
What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert?
No, thanks, I’m stuffed.