February 13, 1995 12:00 PM

by Ren Lexander and Geraldine Rose

For the truly desperate, this “astrological guide to love, lust and intimate relationships” offers such pseudoinformation as “Cancers can be emotional vampires who will drain you through their mood swings and sulkiness.” Forget enlightenment; the only amusing part of the book comes when the authors, both Australian astrology buffs, rate the “sexy” and “unsexy” celebrities who fall under each birth sign. The sexy Pisceans, for instance, include Jon Bon Jovi, Bruce Willis, Albert Einstein and Drew Barrymore. The unsexy ones born from Feb. 20 to March 20 include Glenn Close, Liza Minnelli, Ron Howard, Fats Domino, Patty Hearst and Zero Mostel. If poor old Zero weren’t already dead (and thus perhaps terminally impaired in the sexiness department), this categorization might come as a crushing blow to him. (Bantam, paper, $11.95)

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