The morning and night of Friday, Nov. 27, brought us the most pathetic displays of maudlin emotion on TV since Queen for a Day: the farewells of Rolland Smith on the CBS Morning Program and Arsenio Hall on Fox’s Late Show. They each said that cancellation was not an ending but a new beginning. They hugged co-stars. They held back tears. This from people we got to know about as well as we get to know most turnpike toll collectors. Smith started on CBS’ latest sunrise suicide show only this year, and Hall knew his ship was sinking long ago. Departing stars should not be allowed to do farewell shows unless they’ve been on the air at least 10 years. Soon I’ll review the new shows in both those killer slots—but only after a respectable period of mourning for the old ones. In the meantime, here are this week’s targets.