>I FINALLY SECURED MY FIRST GIRLFRIEND.

It was my first time at second base.

GEORGIA O’KEEFFE DIED.

I mean enough is enough, right?

I GOT DRUNK FOR THE FIRST TIME BY CHUGGING ANISETTE.

It’s a drink usually enjoyed by old ladies (or so my mother told me as she was holding my hair out of my face while I was puking).

I HAD A FULL HEAD OF VERY LUXURIOUS HAIR (SEE RIGHT).

Enough to hold while puking.

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