ABC (Saturdays, 8:30 p.m. ET)
An uptight single mother (Marie Osmond) is beset with unsolicited advice on how to run her life from her earthy mom (Betty White) and her annoying kid (Ashley Johnson). One of TV’s true greats, White is saddled with one of prime time’s most grotesque clichés: the glandular grandma. The PIN code for this merry widow’s bankcard is 13524, which is the order in which she ranks her husbands for satisfaction in the sack. Osmond gives the stiffest sitcom performance since Pain Dawber on Mork & Mindy. But the show’s stale humor certainly doesn’t help.