>JACK AND JILL
Call the fire department: a career is in flames. No, not Adam Sandler’s—he’ll survive starring as ad exec Jack and his icky twin sister Jill. It’s Al Pacino we need to save. Playing himself, Pacino falls for Jill while being pursued by Jack to hawk a certain doughnut chain’s drink, the Dunkaccino. It’s sad and unfunny, and there’s a rap involved. Hey Al, the next time Sandler makes you an offer, refuse.