Shia LaBeouf, Michelle Monaghan | PG-13
Two innocent strangers, Jerry (LaBeouf), a copy store clerk, and Rachel (Monaghan), a paralegal, suddenly find themselves thrown together and forced to serve as operatives in what would seem to be a major terrorist attack against the U.S. An all-knowing, all-seeing female voice—turns out it’s Big Sister we need to be worried about, not Big Brother—on the other end of their cell phones is commanding them to drive here, steal this high-tech gizmo, board that plane to Washington, D.C., etc. When they try to rebel, even though their own lives and those of loved ones are at stake, she coolly tells them, “Desertion is not an option.” Maybe not for these two, but that certainly would be the wisest choice for moviegoers.
Eagle Eye is a preposterous thriller, directed by D.J. Caruso (Disturbia) as if he’s hoping to be the next Michael Bay, that’s stuffed to brimming with let’s-blow-up-stuff action scenes. Apparently, all these high-decibel chase scenes, vehicle pileups, shoot-outs and yet more car crashes are intended to keep us too distracted to notice that the characters are as thinly drawn as a child’s stick figures and the plotting laughably ludicrous. LaBeouf and Monaghan are required mostly to rush about, panting hard and looking panicked. Psssstt, you two, the exit is this way.