CBS (Sun. Sept. 29, 9 p.m. ET)
Amos can’t decide what it is: a geriatric Animal House, a variation on Murder, She Wrote or a serious segment on 60 Minutes. The story is about the abuse of old people. Kirk Douglas plays an old gent who ends up in a retirement home run by Elizabeth Montgomery as a nasty nymphet of a nurse who kills patients when they become too much of a bother. As a suspense story, it fails; you know who the murderer is. As a comedy, it certainly fails; beating up old people is not funny. And as a serious social drama, it’s an abject flop because the plot is patently ludicrous, so it’s hard to take any of it seriously.