February 12, 2001 12:00 PM

Friendly Divorces

If these people can stay friends, how about making an effort to stay together for the kids they say come first. Are we supposed to find these self-centered people admirable? What is admirable is: staying together when it’s hard to stay friends. Toughing it out when it’s not easy. Then these children would have a mom and a dad they could actually admire.

Deborah Oliver, Escondido, Calif.

As a child of divorce, I believe one of the greatest gifts my parents gave me was their friendship through my growing-up years. I have always appreciated them for it because I saw my friends go through very difficult times brought on by petty arguments and mudslinging between the two people they cared about most.

Danielle McSherry, Bergenfield, N.J.

It is possible to parent together amicably, postdivorce. My ex-husband and I separated three years ago. For 14 months our children lived in the matrimonial home, while we rented an apartment nearby. Every two weeks we switched: When I lived in the house, he was in the apartment and vice versa. Now our children (ages 16, 14 and 12) spend two weeks at their father’s house and two at mine. He and I speak constantly and have regular meetings to discuss schedules, finances and any concerns either of us has about our children. We do birthdays as a family, Christmas as a family and make sure one or both of us is at sporting events, school functions and just generally available. Is it easy? No. But, if you make “sucking it up for the kids” your motto, everybody wins.

Dawn Hancock, Calgary, Alta.

I plan to send my ex a copy of this week’s PEOPLE. Despite my best efforts to keep our relationship civil for the sake of our three sons, my ex continues to bad-mouth me, threaten and curse me, often in earshot of our sons. Divorce is traumatic enough for everyone involved without continually trying to hurt your ex. Children can accept and recover from the divorce of their parents, but constant bitterness on the part of one ex toward another just keeps the wounds open.

Name Withheld

If these couples had worked half as hard at their marriages as they are on their “amicable splits,” they would probably still be married. Linda Flack, Seminole, Fla.

Keri Krissik

As a woman who suffered from anorexia and bulimia during middle school and high school, I am angered at Stonehill College’s decision not to readmit Keri Krissik. This is not the time for the college to be turning its back on this sick girl. Instead they should be examining where they failed to prevent this tragedy. The education system needs programs to teach men and women about eating disorders. Society needs to stop saying, “Not me, not my daughter or son,” because if you do that, something is going to be missed. While my mother was busy trying to convince herself that I was okay, I was busy throwing up lunch.

Marni Frank, Arnold, Md.

While I pity this sick girl, I would think that her limited energy and that of her family would be focused on helping her recover from her problem. It is not normal to have a heart attack at the age of 20, and instead of spending her time and energy trying to gain admission to a college that has the right to protect its other students from the distraction she would be, she should involve herself in some psychotherapy. I also find it appalling that she filed her lawsuit under the Americans with Disabilities Act. It is a slap in the face to all those who actually have disabilities. I congratulate Stonehill College for having the guts to stand up to this nonsense and thank them for looking out for the best interests of all its students—including Keri.

Tina Johnson, Long Beach, Calif.

Socks the Cat

When people adopt a pet, it is supposed to be for the pet’s lifetime. There are certainly different opinions about the Clintons and their definitions of commitment, but if I were Hillary I would keep Socks and give Bill to Betty Currie for all his catting around.

Connie Jones, Aliso Viejo, Calif.

John Halbleib

The Milton Hershey School is one of America’s best-kept secrets and has provided an unparalleled opportunity for its thousands of alumni. As a graduate, I find it disturbing how the board of trustees has allegedly manipulated the funds of the school. I hope that recent attention about the lawsuit filed by John Halbleib and others will persuade the board to put the interest of the students first.

Kate Casey Foley, Virginia Beach, Va.

Anna Nicole Smith
Anna Nicole Smith—living proof of the old maxim that it’s a shame to have good taste and no money, but far worse to have money and no taste.

Charlene Cosman, Northport, N.Y.

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