I read your article (PEOPLE, Aug. 18) for the part on solutions because I desperately need help. I truly believe that the best medicine for this epidemic of marital cheating is if each person involved would earnestly stop and think of the Golden Rule. Try to imagine the gut-wrenching hurt that comes from infidelity and ask yourself if you would like to be on the receiving end. Then pray for strength to “keep thee only unto him / her, so long as you both shall live.” It’s like the drug-abuse commercials tell the kids: “Just say, ‘No!’ ”
A Wronged Spouse
What begins as an ego booster often leads to tragedy. The partner trusted to share joys and the trials of life becomes the creator of the pain of family breakup. Speak to any child of divorce, as I do as a family therapist, about their early loss of innocence. Mothers and fathers who never experienced divorce as children have no concept of the lifelong effects of this loss.
Claire J. Lehr
I was pregnant with our second child when my husband was unfaithful to me. I knew the other woman on a seemingly friendly basis and never imagined she would do such a thing. Though the marriage has persevered, a lingering sense of pain and loss still lives within me.
New York City
Professionals who lead spouses to believe that partners would not stray if their marriages weren’t lacking something do a disservice to the already wounded husband or wife. This world is full of lonely wives whose husbands allow them to shoulder the burden of children and home upkeep. This should create scads of unfaithful wives, but it doesn’t. My best advice to someone who is married to a man or woman who is constantly unfaithful is to read the book Sexual Addiction by Patrick J. Carnes. It changed my life and elevated my self-esteem.
For two years of my life I was the Other Woman. It started at work and quickly went beyond “just friends.” The first year was wonderful; he was separated, and I foolishly thought our relationship meant something to him. Then I became pregnant, and I discovered how expendable I was. His wife found out and threatened me with a civil suit. He denied the child was his. I miscarried and was left to pick up the pieces of my life. With the acceptance and care of close friends, I am beginning to get on with my life. The only thing I can say to anyone flirting with an illicit relationship is: “Don’t do it!”
My sincere apologies to Cyndy Garvey for all the bad thoughts I had about her when she broke up with Steve. Shame on you, Steve, for putting the blame on your wife.
Long Beach, Calif.
Cyndy Garvey’s allegations of superstar ex-husband Steve’s extramarital adventures must come as quite a shock to millions of disbelieving hero worshippers. To the cynics and realists among us, however, the allegations, if true, aren’t very surprising. Regardless of how much we may have admired the Popeye forearms and the bullwhip batting stroke, it has long been suspected that Garvey’s carefully manicured public image may have been more than a bit contrived.
Castro Valley, Calif.
When David Hartman negotiates his new contract in December, I hope Capital Cities gives him the same treatment he gave Sandy Hill and Joan Lunden. What goes around comes around, and Hartman is long overdue.
Miami Shores, Fla.
Joan Lunden should be proud of her promotion, and even prouder of the fact that she’s achieved it through hard work and persistence when others would have turned it into a media event.
Dayle Rado Thomas
Hats off to Joan Lunden for demanding equality and winning it. It’s high time women were considered equals with men in titles and salaries. As a former television-radio journalist, I am happy to see women slowly but surely making it in what has traditionally been a male-dominated business. Now let’s have more women anchoring the major newscasts and get rid of the “boy-and-girl” stories and see more solid journalism.
Jane H. Rorrer
Camp for Capitalists
I’d like to express my support for the rich kids’ camp. It really upsets me to think how “soft” they’re getting. It’s good to see that people are making efforts to start early to instill greed, power and snobbishness in these youngsters.
As a fifth-grade teacher I was saddened by the article about the Money Management Summer Camp for kids. The adult like comments made by the children made me shake my head and pity their futures. At least I can be thankful that 10-year-old Janet Cafaro (“Money is power”) attends a special school for the gifted. I certainly wouldn’t want to have her in my class!
Teresa Fasola Tocher
What’s this obsession you have with age? How in the world can the attractive, exciting Monkees, only in their early 40s, be considered “geriatric ’60s rockers…crawling back into the daylight”? I have been a fan for years, and I was able to see them in concert twice this summer. Your description of them couldn’t have been more wrong. Of course—according to your figuring—at the advanced age of 27 I might be in the midst of a mid-life crisis and overly sensitive.
Lori Ann Johnson