By Charlotte Triggs
August 26, 2013 12:00 PM

In the last three years, Jon Gosselin, now 36, has retreated from the spotlight. When he’s between IT contract jobs, he works for Advance Trade, selling energy-efficient products, and recently downsized his lifestyle, moving into a secluded cabin in Berks County, Pa., 30 minutes from Kate. The kids visit him Tuesday nights for dinner and every other weekend. “My time with them is limited,” Gosselin tells PEOPLE. “So my friends all know, when I have my kids, you won’t ever hear from me.” These days he and Kate “are civil,” he says, but communicate via text and about logistical issues only, to minimize confrontation. And for the moment, TV is a thing of the past. “For the foreseeable future, I just go to work. If a TV gig happens for me, great. If it happens for Kate, yay. In a recession you can’t be choosy.”