September 18, 2000 12:00 PM

Charlie Sheen isn’t letting his new starring role on Spin City go to his head. Sure, on the studio lot he’s parked his own $1.5 million custom-designed bus with its full-size master bedroom, two baths and three satellite TVs tuned to ESPN. But I hear that Sheen told the cast to “feel free to use this as your own, whether I’m here or not. Consider it the Spin City clubhouse.” One of the ABC show’s executive producers has already taken him up on the offer: Michael J. Fox stopped by to schmooze for an hour with his replacement.

Meanwhile, over at NBC’s The West Wing, Charlie’s dad, Martin Sheen, has made a lot of friends–judging from the photos throughout the White House. Cut out head shots of Sheen, who plays the President, have been inserted into pictures with such political luminaries as Boris Yeltsin, the Dalai Lama, Geraldine Ferraro and Mikhail Gorbachev. Trouble is, Sheen’s head doesn’t always fit the body. “We have a contest going: Count the bad heads,” says the drama’s Rob Lowe. “It’s a chiropractic nightmare.” Lowe’s favorite? Sheen with Nelson Mandela, in which the proportions are totally skewed.

Mark Wahlberg and Joaquin Phoenix, costars in the upcoming urban drama The Yards, “went at [a fight scene] with such ferocity that it left them black-and-blue for days,” says a source close to the production. “They tore each other to pieces.” The actors, who are friends off-camera, were so sore the next day, “they walked like robots.”

Even as Al Gore and George W. Bush square off, the Republican candidate has apparently won a skirmish. According to chronicler of the British classes Harold Brooks-Baker, publishing director of Burke’s Peerage & Baronetage, Bush seems closer to Britain’s royal family than Gore. Says Brooks-Baker: “Our research is not over, but it looks as if Bush is way ahead in royal lineage.” Of course, neither may wish to count Britain’s dysfunctional royals as relatives, but Gore’s genealogy, or the lack of it, could prove problematic. “In 200 years, never once has the person with the least royal genes won,” says Brooks-Baker. “It is conceivable Gore will pull ahead, but I can’t be optimistic.”

Doonesbury comic strip presidential hopeful Duke, who is running as a write-in candidate, will unveil his Cabinet in upcoming weeks. So far he has named Kathie Lee Gifford as his Vice President, because “she has nothing better to do,” Martha Stewart as Secretary of the Interior due to her “really good taste” and Michael Milken as Secretary of the Treasury. As for his speechwriter, Duke wisely tapped Doonesbury creator Garry Trudeau to do the honors.

Fast takes: Look for actress Bai Ling to appear next year on Showtime’s The Chris Isaak Show. She has been dating Isaak for more than a year, but the singer-actor lives in San Francisco and Ling lives in the L.A. area.

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