Mary Alice puts an end to her seemingly perfect suburban life with a bullet to the head. Her friends, in the true spirit of soul sisters and Nancy Drew, ask: Why? Then they find a blackmail note, and we’re off! Susan, jealous that Edie may already have scored with Mike the plumber, accidentally burns down Edie’s house…. Gabrielle, meanwhile, cheats on Carlos with John the gardener…. Rex asks Bree for a divorce.
2 AH, BUT UNDERNEATH
Mrs. Huber finds Susan’s measuring cup in the ruins of Edie’s house…. Paul disposes of a filthy-looking old toy chest in a local lake…. Bree and Rex try counseling…. How come Mike has a gun and cash and a map of the community hidden in his house? Because he’s on a secret mission!… Says Mary Alice: “Every family has its secrets-You need to think carefully before digging them up.”
3 PRETTY LITTLE PICTURE
Bree finds a tape of Mary Alice’s therapy session at the marriage counselor’s and pilfers it.
4 WHO’S THAT WOMAN?
On the tape, Mary Alice calls herself Angela. The girls are understandably perturbed….Mrs. Huber blackmails Susan into paying her bills, until Julie steals back the cup….The girls tell Paul about the threatening note. He says Mary Alice wrote it to herself (thus begins his long, devious spin campaign).
5 COME IN, STRANGER
Carlos’s mama, Juanita, arrives at his request to spy on Gabrielle.
6 RUNNING TO STAND STILL
Paul puts Zach, who’s starting to mull over the past a little too much, in a clinic…. Exhausted Lynette gets hooked on the energy buzz she gets from taking her kids’ A.D.D. medicine…. Says Mary Alice: “As children we’re taught that the power of good triumphs. But as we get older we realize… traces of evil always remain.”
7 ANYTHING YOU CAN DO
Susan has finally arranged a proper date with Mike, but he cancels because of a mysterious houseguest, Kendra (we’ll later learn she’s the sister of Deirdre, missing for years and the object of Mike’s undercover search mission)…. Juanita takes a photo of Gabrielle and John making love, runs out into Wisteria Lane and—bang!—is left in a coma after a hit-and-run collision with a car driven by Bree’s rebel son Andrew…. Susan, going through more of Mary Alice’s things, discovers the Rosebud of the show: a baby blanket with the name Dana.
After a detective traces the blackmailer’s notepaper to Mrs. Huber, Paul strangles her, first bashing her in the head with a blender that (yummy irony!) Mrs. Huber borrowed from Mary Alice.
9 SUSPICIOUS MINDS
Paul buries Mrs. Huber in the woods…. Zach runs away from the clinic and hides in Julie’s room. Tells her he killed Dana, his baby sister, and that his parents buried her in secret…. The FBI arrests Carlos for international sweat labor practices…. Police find that toy chest. Uh-oh!
10 COME BACK TO ME
Rex, who hasn’t told Bree about his S&M fetish, sneaks off for some dominance and submission with neighbor Maisy Gibbons. He has a heart attack…. Says Mary Alice: “We never know who we can trust-In the end, most people decide to trust only themselves.”
11 MOVE ON
Mrs. Huber’s sister Felicia comes to Wisteria Lane, already certain the missing Martha is dead…. To spite Rex, recuperating at home, Bree goes out with George, the creepy pharmacist who happens to be doling out his heart medicine…. A jogger finds Mrs. Huber’s corpse…. Says Mary Alice: “We’re all searching for someone, and if we can’t find them, we can only pray that they find us.”
12 EVERY DAY A LITTLE DEATH
While rowing on a lake to dispose of Mrs. Huber’s ashes, Susan confesses to Edie that she burned down her house. Edie throws Mrs. Huber in her face.
13 YOUR FAULT
After Rex warns him off Bree, George begins mucking around with Rex’s pills.
14 LOVE IS IN THE AIR
Mike gets shot breaking into a house in his search for clues, then tells Susan it was a self-inflicted accident…. Felicia figures out that Mary Alice was someone she knew back in Utah named Angela!
Lynette opens up to the wife of Tom’s boss and derails Tom’s promotion, implying he shouldn’t be kept away from his kids…. The cops, who think Mike may have something to do with Mrs. Huber’s murder, show Susan his rap sheet: manslaughter, drugs.
16THE LADIES WHO LUNCH
A sewage overflow shuts down Gabrielle’s plumbing; with their money tied up by Carlos’s legal woes, she steals a Port-A-Potty…. Says Mary Alice: “Throughout even the most respectable of neighborhoods you can hear the sound of scandal.”
17 THERE WON’T BE TRUMPETS
Juanita awakens from her coma in the hospital, only to fall down some steps and die. Is Gabrielle’s secret safe? … Mike gives Susan a letter explaining everything, but Susan can’t make up her mind whether to read it.
18 CHILDREN WILL LISTEN
Felicia sits down with Zach and helps him remember his real name is … Dana! … Gabrielle sleeps with John, unaware that Carlos has been tampering with her birth control pills so they can have a child. She gets pregnant—but by whom? … Says Mary Alice:
“Children change everything, especially when they’re not invited.”
19 LIVE ALONE AND LIKE IT
Police determine that the body in the trunk is the missing Deirdre…. Looking into the police file, Mike figures out that Paul owned the toy chest that became her coffin.
20 FEAR NO MORE
Lynette is steamed when she learns that Annabel, Tom’s old flame, has been hired by his office…. Susan puts the kibosh on Zach ever dating Julie again. Soon after, her kitchen catches fire.
21 SUNDAY IN THE PARK WITH GEORGE
Felicia tells Paul she knows he killed Martha, and more: She knows Zach’s sordid backstory. She orders Paul to flee and leave Zach with her…. Kendra explains to Susan that Mike is a good person, no really: He and Deirdre were lovers, and he tried to save her from drugs. Susan finally allows herself to fall totally in love.
22 GOODBYE FOR NOW
The chickens all come home to roost…. There are new neighbors: the only black residents of Wisteria Lane, named Applewhite. … Bree breaks off her platonic friendship with pathetic-mean George. He gets into her house, finds sex toys, and lies to Bree that Rex has gossiped about their S&M…. Lynette sneakily tries to get Annabel hired by another firm; Annabel’s boss counteroffers and promotes her over Tom. Tom quits—and learns about Lynette’s prior meddling…. Bree and Rex fight, he has a heart attack, and she perversely delays taking him to the ER…. Felicia and Mike seem to agree: Paul should be killed for his crimes…. Says Mary Alice:
“The time comes when we all must say goodbye to the world we knew.”
23 ONE WONDERFUL DAY
And one amazing cliff-hanger! Zach flashback: born Dana, son of drug-addicted Deirdre, stolen by rehab nurse Angela (Mary Alice) and Paul, who move to Wisteria Lane. Years later: Deirdre shows up, wants baby, gets knifed and stuffed in that toy chest…. Tom tells Lynette he’ll stay home—she has to go back to work…. Rex dies—but did he think Bree and George conspired to kill him?… Zach, who has learned from Felicia that Mike is going to do a hit job on Paul, holds Susan hostage with a gun while awaiting his return…. Paul, expecting a bullet from Mike, explains that Deirdre had a son—whoa! Zach is Mike’s son? Mike spares Paul and heads home, where Zach awaits….Says Mary Alice: “I cheer them on, these amazing women. I hope so much they’ll find what they’re looking for…. Sadly, that’s just not the way life works. Not everyone gets a happy ending.”