Kelly Clarkson from Miss Independent to Mom!

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EXCLUSIVE People EXCLUSIVE

Kelly Clarkson, like most moms, has a daunting to-do list. On a recent day she’s variously packing for an upcoming trip to London, taking a raw-food cooking class, dressing up for a date night, signing thank-yous for her charity benefit and entertaining her 8-month-old daughter River Rose. Adding to the happy chaos that fills the singer’s Nashville-area home: her stepkids Savannah, 13, and Seth, 8, freshly home from school, and the family’s three lively dogs—Maltese Security, Doberman Cairo and Maltipoo Wyatt. During a break from the bustle, she marvels at how much her world has shifted since she became a mom. “When the focus isn’t on you,” she says, “it changes your perspective.”

It’s a massive change for the Grammy winner, 32, who went from being music’s most proudly outspoken Miss Independent to a married mom of three in less than one year. And while her career continues to flourish—her sixth studio album, Piece by Piece, debuts March 3 and a world tour kicks off later this year—she says it’s now “in a little sidecar” next to her life with husband Brandon Blackstock, 38, and their kids. “I love what I do, but I feel like I relied on my career a lot for my self-worth,” says Clarkson. “And now I’m more than that: I’m a mother and a wife and have this whole other thing going on.” Of course, she’s still getting the hang of motherhood, readily admitting that she’s learning to prepare healthier foods now that she’s cooking for five. “I know it sounds horrible, but before, I never really cared about the processed-sugar thing,” says the Texas-bred star. “Growing up in the South, it was never a big concern.” And the same self-deprecating charm that endeared her to fans as the first-ever American Idol winner in 2002 now has a distinctly new-mom twist. “I still can’t believe I made a human,” she happily tweeted after River’s birth last June, adding “#firstglassofwineintenmonths #pump&dump.” She regularly shares photos and videos of River on social media and says her daughter’s smiley disposition has been key to smoothing the transition. “She’s the happiest baby on the planet. She’s been sleeping 11 to 12 hours since she was 2 months old,” says Clarkson. “I do have some first-mom tendencies though, like not wanting anyone but me driving her around, but I think I have a certain level of peace I didn’t know was going to come with it.”

For a long while, she didn’t know if she even wanted a family of her own. After going through the pain of her parents’ divorce, she focused on pursuing her dream of a music career. “I’m very much a gypsy at heart, and I just didn’t think I would find someone who understood that about me,” she says. “And it’s a very selfless thing to be a parent, and my line of work can be a very selfish thing. I didn’t want to bring someone into this world and screw them up.”

Everything changed when she met Blackstock, Blake Shelton’s manager and the stepson of Clarkson’s close friend and mentor Reba McEntire. ” My whole life took a big 180,” she says. ” I know it sounds cheesy, but I’ve never felt how I feel around Brandon. We’re honestly best friends.”

In October 2013 the pair wed at Blackberry Farm in eastern Tennessee—a departure from their initial plan.”Our original idea was something very small here at the house, but it grew and became about everyone but us,” she says. “In the end we made it just our family, and it was perfect. I was so emotional, and I didn’t realize I was going to be! During the ceremony Seth looked up and was like, ‘What’s wrong with her?’ I was like, ‘I’m just so happy!'”

Her tight bond with her stepkids (their mom is Blackstock’s ex Melissa Ashworth White) quickly changed the singer’s mind about parenthood. “Seth and Savannah made me want to have a baby. I didn’t realize how much I would love [being a mom]. I love going to games, I love the homework,” she says. “I love the challenge of helping mold someone’s life.” Still, she acknowledges that her fame can complicate things. “My worry is River feeling like she has to do something that’s in the spotlight,” she says. “I want her to feel like she can do anything and it matters. We want the kids to find their own niche.”

One thing that doesn’t matter? Fitting the traditional mold of perfectly polished pop star. “I have friends who are like, ‘How are you walking outside in leggings and no makeup?'” says the singer, who confessed to PEOPLE in 2013 that she was “in Uggs and a sweatshirt with no bra” during Blackstock’s December 2012 proposal. “They love Beyoncé, and she’s always diva-ed out. I love her too, but that’s just not me. My mom will tell you, even as a kid, I’ve always done the opposite of what people expect from me.”

As for the pressure to look a certain way, “In the beginning [of my career] if it wasn’t one thing, it was another,” she says. “Like finally I was at the perfect weight that people loved—I happened to be doing kickboxing at the time—and that still wasn’t enough. I’m never going to live up to anyone’s expectations, so why try? I’ve always had good confidence. If somebody says, ‘I don’t like something about you,’ I’m just like, ‘You know what? I’ve been hurt so incredibly deeper than what you’re saying, and I survived. So I’m good.’ You can’t count on your self worth being tied to someone else.”

Looking ahead, she says she has “a country record on the back burner” and is setting her sights on a theater debut (“I want to do Broadway real bad! Maybe something brand-new or a revival.”). And yes, she’d like another baby “in a couple of years.” Reflecting on her diapers-and-homework- filled life, she notes, “My best friend always says, ‘You just want to create the family you never had.’ I might be doing that. In defense of my family, it happens. People fall out of love, and people go separate ways. People are human. I’ve accomplished a lot, but I guess the biggest success I want is that whenever I die people will say, ‘She was so successful as a mother, and as a wife.’ That’s kind of my big goal.”

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