June 16, 2014 12:00 PM

For June 16,2014

‘I looked down and the nutter was trying to bury his face in my crotch, so I cracked him twice in the back of the head.’

BRAD PITT, on red carpet crasher Vitalii Sediuk, to PEOPLE

SPOILER ALERT!

‘Ouch.’

—PEDRO PASCAL, whose Game of Thrones character met a violent and gruesome death, on Twitter

‘When they pay for the vacation, they get to dictate where we go.’

JESSICA ALBA, on taking travel suggestions from daughters Honor and Haven, to PEOPLE

‘I myself am more surprised than anyone that I was able to hold down a job for seven years, and it was a fantastic seven years.’

—CHELSEA HANDLER, who will wrap her late-night run on E! in August, in a statement

‘Yeah, she was on PEOPLE magazine’s Most Beautiful People list this year … but what intelligent remarks could she possibly make about the law?’

—MINDY KALING, referring to herself in a speech during Harvard Law School’s Class Day

‘It’s a strip-off to the death.’

—MATT BOMER, teasing the steamy Magic Mike sequel, on The Ellen DeGeneres Show

‘There’s a Twitter account called @JessicaBielArms. Should my ass be offended?’

JESSICA BIEL, after discovering the account dedicated to her enviable arms, on Twitter

‘If I’m in a bathing suit, I should pose proudly.’

JESSICA SIMPSON, flaunting her fit physique, on Instagram

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