September 10, 1984 12:00 PM

Forget about all the awkward and inappropriate things you’ve said to the wrong people at the right parties. Susan Anton confesses to a royal gaffe at the Olympics that makes other social errors seem small. Coming upon Prince Albert she said, “Oh yes, hello, we met last month.” The Prince said he didn’t remember. “At the Olympic committee event?” suggested Susan. “No,” Albert replied. “That was Prince Andrew.” “But weren’t you involved with the equestrian events?” Susan persisted. “No,” he replied. “That was Prince Philip.” Red from ear to ear, Anton laughed and tried a new tack. “Let’s start over,” she said. “Hello. I’m Suzanne Somers.”

While in New York City, the Beach Boys stayed at the Parker Meridien Hotel because they like the rooftop swimming pool. But keyboardist Bruce Johnston, who is married with two kids, saw something up there last week that sent him back to his air-conditioned room. While he caught some rays, a couple of women sat down nearby and took off their tops to expose areas the sun rarely sees. Bruce took one look and got up. “I have to leave here,” he said to another pool-goer. “Even though it doesn’t seem that way, I’m really very conservative. I don’t like it when I see women baring their breasts.” Yes folks, that’s a Beach Boy talking.

Robert Urich was a real tough guy as Dan Tanna in his bang-bang TV show, Vega$ and that is probably why they picked him for the role of Tim Hutton’s fireman brother in the upcoming film Turk 182! So far, Urich has gone through enough physical abuse to turn a lesser he-man to mush. Though a stunt man made a four-story leap from a Newark, N.J. jail in Urich’s place, the actor twice had to jump backward from the jail’s first floor and land in the middle of a table so it would break evenly. In other scenes he rode around in the back of a van for eight hours with his arms and legs painfully immobilized in a body cast; spent several hours walking on his hands across a bar; rushed through swarms of rats and roaches into a burning building; and during an arrest scene that took 10 hours to shoot, received continual blows in the stomach from co-star Peter Boyle. “So far, I’ve survived. That’s quite an achievement in itself,” says Urich, adding, “And if I ever meet Peter outside his apartment, he’s in trouble.”

At the dress rehearsal of Daniela Frank, a new play at the Williamstown (Mass.) Theatre Festival, it looked as if they had a real stinker on their hands. The play marked the stage debut of Bianca Jagger, playing a Janet Cooke-style journalist who wins a Pulitzer Prize for a phony story. But when Bianca and co-star John (Missing) Shea approached the theater the day before the opening, they found the front roped off. A sign read simply “Do Not Enter—Skunk.” As it happens, a furry friend had scurried into the theater the night before and refused to leave. It finally made a dash for the great outdoors eight hours later, leaving to Bianca and company a theater scented, fortunately, only by the smell of greasepaint.

Might as well kiss privacy goodbye if one of your siblings decides to become a famous playwright. At the L.A. opening of Neil Simon’s Brighton Beach Memoirs, Neil’s writer/director brother, Danny, said, “I’ve had more plays based on my life than Abraham Lincoln, Noah and Julius Ceasar.”

As a guest on a Norfolk, Mass. radio talk show, outspoken Boston city councilman Albert “Dapper” O’Neil got a call from a listener who deplored “all kinds of abortions” performed at Boston City Hospital. As reported in Variety, O’Neil replied that he was most upset by the news and would investigate the matter. “I’ll get to the bottom of this. May lightning strike me dead if I don’t,” he bellowed. At that moment lightning hit the station’s tower and blew the show off the air. There is an unconfirmed report that Dapper headed immediately for the hospital.

Jack Wagner, 24, who plays the General Hospital heartthrob, Frisco, says his fame does absolutely nothing for passers-by in Manhattan. He reports with a laugh, “They say, ‘Hey Frisco!’ And then they add, ‘Get out of my way!’ ”

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