“If this morning you finally woke up from a coma, well, you might want to go back,” Noah said, before playing news footage of anchors calling Trump’s victory.
“No matter how many times I hear that, it still doesn’t seem real. It still doesn’t feel real,” the host said, joking that the result was like Trump’s hair. “I know its real, but my mind can’t accept it.”
Of the election, Noah noted how Hillary Clinton received more total votes than Trump nationwide, but lost the election because Trump scored more votes in the electoral college.
“Because that’s how it works in America: you don’t need the most votes, you just need the electoral college. So once again, Donald Trump benefits from a bulls– college,” Noah joked, referencing the embattled Trump University. “And by the way, I’m not saying it’s bullsh– because I’m sour or anything. I’m just quoting the president — sorry, the president-elect — who said it himself. Donald Trump, calling it corrupt.”
Despite his shock (“I genuinely cannot believe this has happened”), Noah said he was pleasantly surprised to see Trump strike a conciliatory tone in his victory speech.
“Trump was gracious, he was humble, he was compassionate. I’ll tell you now, if that guy ran for president, he also would have lost to Donald Trump,” Noah joked, before playing a clip of what he thought Trump’s speech would sound like: Cartman from South Park.
“What we need to do now is try and look on the bright side,” Noah added. “Since Trump won the election, no one can deny that he has been a phenomenal president-elect. It’s been a great 19 hours. In fact, I say we use this opportunity to start over with Trump. We should try.”
The Daily Show host then showed a graphic stating that it had been one day without an incident involving Trump: “Now it’s only 1,459 to go.”