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The Hills Recap: A Night of Friendship Betrayals

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While Lauren was out of town, several of her so-called friends started showing their true colors. When she returned and heard the details, well, let’s just say it was not the welcome back she had hoped for.

And Away She Goes: Lauren packed for a trip to Italy while Lo and Audrina watched. Lo tried to make her non-vacationing self feel better by saying she and Aud were gonna bond while LC was abroad. The challenge was met by a visible gulp from the former third wheel and the duo looked downright deer in headlights as LC drove off. But they actually made good on their threat several times during the 30-minute episode. A few times they even seemed to enjoy each other’s company, like during a Fred Segal lunch where they shared silverware. But then again there was also the time where they were at Goa and Speidi showed up and sauntered over to their booth. Aud became engrossed in conversation with Heidi and left Lo bored and looking wounded like the puppy no one adopts from the pound. The Ex Best Thing: Stephanie showed up on Aud’s doorstep wanting advice after she dropped a bomb: “Doug asked me to go to dinner with him.” Aud cautioned her to wait until LC got back to discuss it with her before she did anything. Steph, who has obviously vibed him since she found out he was an athlete in the season opener, pondered: “How would she find out?” Audrina answered, “I don’t know.” Uh, really, no ideas? Let us count the ways: 1) You just told her roommate 2) Bloggers and tabloids are everywhere. 3) And finally our favorite – you are both recurring characters on a nationally televised reality show.

No one that Aud spills the beans to thinks it is a good idea. Aud told Lo, “That’s the biggest no-no with girlfriends. Never go out with their ex. Why would you want sloppy seconds?” Hard to tell what concept offended them more – hand-me-down hook-ups or breaking the girl version of the bros before hoes code. When fate (and by fate we mean the showrunners) found Aud and Lo at the same hotspot as Speidi, Aud told Heidi about the date proposal, reminisced about the good old days hanging and accepted Heidi’s invite to an X-Games party the next night. Then, they made plans to get together for lunch at the party (at which Justin-Bobby looked like a total poser in his skater gear). Even Heidi criticized the pending Doug-Stephanie dinner, “That’s just psycho to me. I wouldn’t do that to my friend. There are a hundred million guys in this city.” But slow your roll, Aud. Seems like Lauren would take to the news of her born-again bestie hanging out with her enemies about as well as she would take to a friend moving in on her high school sweetie.

Steph sought out Spencer to debate the issue with further and although we get the sense that the great manipulator secretly wished it would happen so he could watch the fallout with popcorn and a front row seat, he still cautioned Steph against the date. “LC’s gonna freak out. I’ll bet you anything. How small of a weird twisted little world. Are you a little nervous that LC is gonna clip you from her posse? I would be if I were you.”

Dinner Crime: She ignored all advice and met Doug at Beso. She seemed nervous about the secret rendezvous. Her second question was if he told Brody they were going out. He asked if she had clued LC in. She then pulled out the biggie: “Is it weird that you dated Lauren?” He replied, “Not at all. What are you doing after this?” Silence and knowing smiles signifying less than pure thoughts for dessert are followed by a run-in with Brody’s mom who asked if they were on a date. Steph shook her head and muttered, “That’s not good.” Neither are Doug’s chances of nookie now. If those two were so worried about being seen, maybe they should have tried somewhere a little less scene-y like the Valley.

When Lauren got home two days early, she held a catch-up meeting with her roomies. Before they asked about the historical sites or the food or the bucolic splendor, they grill here about the men. Lauren summed it up, “You know how when you walk a construction site and all the guys whistle at you. Italy is like a construction site.” When she asked what she’d missed, Aud came clean about hanging with Speidi twice. She played it off like it was no big deal, even being a tad sarcastic, but LC did not look pleased. Aud quickly moved on to sell Steph out and then she lied and said she had told her “I wouldn’t go there if I were you.” Lo surmised that Doug had to be trying to make LC jealous. LC looked doubly not pleased.

LC caught up with Brody for dinner at Loteria Grill where she got more dish than the taco plate. He was thrilled to whip up a steaming plate of She-Pratt I-told-you-so. “This is how I found out. We told him to come out with us and he said, ‘I gotta handle a business dinner.’ My mom calls me up me up and goes, ‘I just met your friend Doug. Why was he having dinner with Stephanie?’ She straight went behind your back. Are you pissed off?” Lauren admitted she was steamed and wondered if she shouldn’t be mad at Doug as well. Brody upheld the bro code by making an excuse and then turning the spotlight back onto Steph. “I think that guys will be guys but Stephanie is supposed to be one of your best friends. I don’t want to see you get hurt. At least you now know what I was talking about. She’s shady.” – Carrie Bell

Tell us: Would you categorize what Stephanie and Doug did as a date and does Lauren have the right to be mad at them? Or should she feel more betrayed by Audrina hanging with Speidi two nights in a row?

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