The familiar strains of Natasha Bedingfield’s “Unwritten” beckoned Hills junkies back to the couch for the season 4 premiere and although the show hasn’t been new in months, it felt like we’d never left as the opening scene found Whitney and Lauren discussing the Audrina/Lo/Lauren triangle while organizing premium denim at People’s Revolution. Lauren discussed her plan to jointly throw Audrina a birthday barbecue as a peace offering. Meanwhile over at the Epic offices, Audrina had told her confidant Chiara that she didn’t know if Lo “was in on it. Lo is always super bitchy. That’s just how she is.”
Back on the (H.S.) Scene: Lauren also confessed that she booked a date with a guy she went to prom with and recently ran into named Doug, but didn’t want to talk about it too much because she didn’t “want to jinx it. The last time I dated a guy for more than one date was Brody and that was when Heidi and Spencer set is up. That’s how long it’s been for me.” Careful L.C., some guys can smell desperation. While Lauren got ready for her date, Lo came in and made yet another slightly strange remark while staring at her intensely. She said: “Your dress is pretty. I would totally date you.” Does anyone else ever get the feeling that Lo might be short for Lohan? It would explain the root of the Audrina-Lo tension. Doug, the poor man’s Ryan Reynolds, rang the doorbell, keeping anything too stalker-ish from happening. Sister Act: Heidi tried a Spencer-style surprise on the master for once. Her sister, Holly, was coming for a visit and she neglected to tell him. “Spencer just moved back in and we’re trying to work things out and she doesn’t know that he’s there because I haven’t had time to tell her,” she told Kimberley at the Bolthouse offices. She raced home to break the news and, surprise (but not really), Holly had already arrived. Spencer won’t be winning host of the year as he couldn’t pry himself away from his video game and he immediately went to his room to pout. Heidi excused herself to “check on him.” She won’t win hostess of the year either, but at least she offered water before forcing her sibling to eavesdrop on the awkward bedroom conversation between the tumultuous twosome that was, yes, about her. Heidi implored him: “Just be nice.” He replied snottily, “That’s my middle name.”
A Speidi Intervention: During Holly’s L.A. makeover at Priv the next day, she gave Heidi crap for not telling her family that Speidi was back on. “I don’t need them knowing every detail of my relationship,” Heidi shot back. Er, isn’t that a little difficult with the reality show, all the tabloid cover stories and YouTube softcore? Holly also stirred the Lauren pot. “You don’t even miss her a little?” Holly inquired. “I’m just concerned. I don’t want you to have to sacrifice anything else for your relationship.” This whole visit smacked of an ulterior motive, and as she walked to her taxi on her way out of town, she dropped the bomb about wanting to move to L.A. and hoping she could stay with them for a few weeks until she “figured things out.” Heidi looked shocked, but agreed; Spencer slammed the taxi, mocked Heidi’s reaction, and went inside to, you guessed it, pout. The move may cause another breakup, but at least the highlights and extensions won’t go to waste.
Party Hardly: Audrina’s b-day dash was a disaster, according to Lauren. First, her new boy toy Doug showed up with Frankie wearing matching Laker jerseys, which probably gave her d j vu to the time when Frankie and Brody wore a couple’s costume to her Halloween party. The last thing she needs is another of her love interests engaging in a bromance with Frankie. The parade of Mohawks, tattoos and body piercings (Audrina said, “They’re the I go out with whenever I am not here”) that streamed into the backyard further illustrated the girls’ differences. Lo hid in her room with the dog most of the day, so Lauren was again caught in the middle.
Roomhates: Post-weekend, Lauren recounted the disaster to Whitney (who was extremely underused in this episode), and told her she asked Lo to have a heart-to-heart with Audrina. Lo did the death march to the backhouse, made feeble attempts at small talk and then cut to the chase. (Watch the clip.)
Lo: “The issue is that we all moved in with the idea that the relationship was going to grow and it just hasn’t happened. I feel like we’ve tried and you haven’t given very much back to us. The blame is being put on me for the reason you and Lauren are drifting apart and I don’t think that’s fair.” Audrina (never even relinquishing a hold on her BlackBerry): “I just don’t feel like I click with you. I always feel like I’m on the outside. There’s an attitude. I go on vibes and tension and energy give off and now I don’t care about really, really overly trying anymore. I have friends that treat me good and I feel included and you don’t do that. But I just don’t care. We’ll never be friends.”
She threw in a shoulder shrug for emphasis and Lo, who seemed a little teary, retreated to the main house. — Carrie Bell
Tell us: Did The Hills premiere live up to your expectations? Why do you think there’s so much tension between Lo and Audrina? What do you think of Heidi’s sister Holly thrown in the mix?