The Hills finale said goodbye to another dramatic season, its leading lady Lauren and Spencer’s bachelorhood. But, in a blast from the past, It said hello to Kristin Cavallari, who showed up at Heidi and Spencer’s nuptials to stake her claim to the show’s next season.
Thanks for the Memories: It was Lauren’s last call (for now anyway). She packed her house and quit her gig at People’s Revolution. Boss lady gave her some sound and classic Cutrone advice: “Just follow your intuition and be smart, brave, tell the truth and don’t take any s**t.” LC threw an intimate fireside chat on her last night in the pad, where Jayde further exposed her insecurities by constantly kissing, hugging and sitting on Brody’s lap. Meanwhile Steph made a final attempt to convince LC to attend Speidi’s wedding. On a separate occasion, Brody made the case for her to go as well. He thought she’d regret not going and that even if she thought it was a mistake, it was their mistake to make. He planned to attend despite the fact thinking Speidi were rushing into it. (How can it be rushing when they’re headed down the aisle a third time?) Maid of Dishonor: Steph looked irked that Heidi picked Holly as her maid of honor even though Steph was the one listening to her drone on about every boring princess detail. “She’s been my sister my whole life. It’s not really a choice,” Heidi explained. She was even more pissed when Holly showed 30 minutes late to the shower and didn’t perform standard maid duties like keeping a gift list. Steph let go of every ill that had passed between her and her brother and delivered a sentimental, teary-eyed speech at the rehearsal dinner. It topped Holly’s drunken rambling and Steph ate up every incoherent moment. Holly also embarrassed herself by quasi-spitting gum into her mom’s hand, high-fiving the waiter, throwing food and staining Heidi’s new clutch and excusing herself to cry. When Heidi sent Spencer to find her and he reprimanded her, the waterworks kicked in. “I didn’t realize we were dining with the king and queen,” she spat back, then stormed out and told Heidi the next day that she would understand if she chose Steph. Heidi was displeased with her antics but said she “would never un-maid of honor” her.
Up for Discussion: Spencer pow-wowed with his mom-in-law-to-be, apologized for disrespecting her and explained that he was going to therapy to become “the opposite of the person she met before.” She gave him her blessing, hoping that the new Spencer was here to stay. But just to be safe, Spencer requested that the priest take out the “speak now or forever hold your peace” section of the ceremony. Probably a wise move as Brody made his contempt known when he met Spencer at 8 oz. Burger Bar. He straight-up laughed at Spencer when he heard about the therapy. To his credit, Spencer stood his ground, called out his own sleaziness and really seemed like a changed man. “I’m not just cold stone with no heart. I feel remorse.”
The Big Day, Take Two: The gang was all there to witness the matrimony and it was nice to see Jayde refrain from PDA in church although she remained consistent in her stink-eye treatment of Audrina. It matched the one she gave Justin-Bobby who rolled in doing his best Joaquin Phoenix impersonation. Past troublemaker Kristin showed and had everyone’s eyes rolling. (Do you think planting herself next to JB was some sort of foreshadowing for her return next season?) Spencer’s douchebag pal Charlie had the audacity to bring Stacie, the homewrecking bartender at the root of Speidi’s seasonal problems. LC showed in the nick of time and had a pre-game reunion with Heidi. “You’re here,” the bride said on the brink of tears. LC responded, “I’m supposed to be.” She seemed to regret her choice the minute she saw her nemesis Kristin wearing an almost identical shade of blue.
I Do Declare: Spencer’s prayer circle reminded us of Talladega Nights although the debate over the kiss was endearing. Heidi was totally over-accessorized but otherwise glowed, and the wedding was fabulous. Both bride and groom beamed uninterrupted. Afterward, LC escaped via a side door and missed Kristin begging Aud to hook her up with a good guy (after calling JB “a standup guy”) and catching the bouquet. The b—h is back and we can already tell it’s going to make for some great trashy TV. – Carrie Bell
Tell us: What did you think of Speidi’s wedding? Are you sad to see LC go, and do you think she really wanted to attend Speidi’s nuptials? Will you watch next season with Kristin as the leading lady?