The Los Angeles ad executive assured reporters that, despite a flood of tears, she harbors no ill will toward Lowe and is still ready to find her soulmate.
Did you have any inkling that week would be the end of your journey?
I didn’t expect to go home. I was caught off guard. I had every intention of taking him home to Colorado and introducing him to my family. However, the week before in Montana, Sean said that he had taken a step back with a few girls. There was a part of me deep down that worried I might be one.
Did showing baby photos and talking families scare him off?
I don’t think it would have changed Sean’s mind whether I showed him the photos on night one or in the fantasy suite. He knew how he felt about me and the others. The photos probably made him realize he needed to be honest sooner rather than later.
You two seemed to spark on the first date.
Getting the first one-on-one date – as magical as it was – was a curse. We had an amazing connection right off the bat and then I had to sit back and wait for him to develop relationships with the other women … It became more and more difficult to sustain a connection. Feelings fizzle and it was very sad and confusing.
You took it so hard. Were you just embarrassed or had you fallen in love?
I had very strong feelings for Sean. It’s human nature to feel embarrassed when you’re dumped on television, [when you] let yourself be as vulnerable as I did and when you put it all out there and somebody didn’t want to take it in.
You also said you’d heard the same breakup line before. Do you still feel like that?
Same story, different dude. It saddens me how many times I begin to date a guy and a few weeks in I get the same story: “You’re great, funny, sweet but there isn’t a connection.” Or: “I’m not right for you. You deserve someone better.” I have been told that more times than I can count.
I’m not mad at Sean. I respect that he didn’t string me along. We all know he is looking for his wife and can’t blame him for not feeling it with me. I’m confused why none of the guys in my life have ever felt, “I am that guy that deserves you.” When is that guy going to come along?
Who is best for Sean?
I’m starting to see the chemistry build between Sean and Catherine. She was a bit of a dark horse. She’s a down-to-earth, real girl so it warms my heart to see the undeniable special connection between them. I always saw his connection with Lesley. Lindsay is a tiny ball of fun. AshLee has the biggest heart, but she’s not a goofball like I think Sean is looking for. Desiree is spunky and very real.
So not Tierra?
No. I don’t see them being much of a match at all. I think he’s probably very surprised watching [the show] because I don’t think he saw what we did.
Do you regret signing up?
Never, ever for one moment. The show gets poked fun at for using words like “journey,” but, truly, it’s a life-changing journey. It was very cathartic and self-actualizing. I learned so much about myself and what I am looking for. The process helped me become who I am today.
Would you be the Bachelorette if asked?
I would seriously consider it. The show was an incredible outlet for self-discovery, but I don’t want to sit around talking about my arm forever. I don’t know if I could do a whole season of that. But big picture, I’m still single and still want to find love and a husband.